Slang Editorial :: Never Underestimate The Value Of A Holla'

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Someone Please Explain This One To Me

From a pre-race research day where Mneserate and I toured the city's subterranea looking for worthy clues for our Rail World: Underground subway race. Still don't quite get what was going on here.

Labels: curiosities, fucktactics, lolgore, photography, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 2/08/2010 04:28:00 PM 0 comments

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Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Sometimes I Wonder What It Would Be Like If I Just Chose To Live My Life Like This Dude

Labels: curiosities, lolgore, photography, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 2/02/2010 07:05:00 AM 0 comments

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Sunday, January 31, 2010
Just When I Thought I Was Out, They Pulled Me Back In

Given the more or less crap quality photos of the Holga format (and the fact that you can get all the advantages and flexibility minus the drawbacks with a better 120mm camera like a TLR Yashica), I don't really want to use Holgas anymore... but then they come out with nifty little things like this red Holga and you think, "Well, maybe they are are pretty awesome actually..."

[This Holga belongs to my friend Marcel though.]

Labels: curiosities, photography, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/31/2010 02:33:00 PM 0 comments

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Friday, January 29, 2010
Capped and Then Fucked

I promised in an earlier post to after losing my work camera lens cap to the subway system at the Bergen St. stop that I would come back with a photo.

Well, here it is, a week later, and the cap is still there. Apparently the subway attendants have grabbers to retrieve such lost items but I think my cap is just doomed to die on the tracks until it disintegrates or is carried off by rats to help augment their Flotilla Toward God that will eventually take down all of the humans left on earth.

Labels: curiosities, fucktactics, lolgore, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/29/2010 09:54:00 PM 1 comments

1 Comments:

jayson said...: FLOTILLA TOWARD GOD.; 1/30/2010 04:41:00 PM

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Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Even The Aged Seek For Ways To Keep It Crunk

JB-Boss: what time is our meeting with [NYC TECH COMPANY] and where
JeffreyBeaumont: it's at 2:30
JeffreyBeaumont: but i'm still waiting to hear back on a location
JeffreyBeaumont: will finalize tomorrow
JB-Boss: crunk?
JeffreyBeaumont: it's a phrase meaning many things
depending on context
JB-Boss: such as "keep it crunk" lock down the date?
JeffreyBeaumont: haha
JeffreyBeaumont: not exactly
JeffreyBeaumont: crunk is more like "happening" "awesome" "crazy"
keep it crunk is like "keep it exciting"
JeffreyBeaumont: which would probably mean actually waiting til the last minute to lock down the date
JB-Boss: got it -- used in context for securing a baptism date where I'm going to be the godfather. Requesrted that I wear a floor-lenghth white sequin cape like Teddy Pendergrass Live at the Sahara

Labels: curiosities, IMs, lolgore, OLD PEOPLE MAKE IT HARD NOT TO SIGH SOMETIMES, words

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/20/2010 04:41:00 PM 0 comments

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Concord Surprise

JeffreyBeaumont: what if you woke up and your eyeballs had been turned into grapes, but you could still see out of them
JeffreyBeaumont: what would your reaction be?
SheHateMe: are they as fragile as grapes?
SheHateMe: do they still have pupils?
SheHateMe: would I still need to put in contacts, or do the grapes give me 20/20 vision
JeffreyBeaumont: you can't wear contacts anymore
JeffreyBeaumont: you have to wear glasses
JeffreyBeaumont: but your vision quality is the same
JeffreyBeaumont: they are just barely stronger than regular grapes
SheHateMe: wait, are we talking purple or white grapes
JeffreyBeaumont: except they won't mold
JeffreyBeaumont: concord
SheHateMe: ew
SheHateMe: do they have the dusty stuff on them?
JeffreyBeaumont: no
SheHateMe: ok, well
SheHateMe: given your answers
SheHateMe: my reaction would be negative

Labels: curiosities, IMs, lolgore

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/20/2010 03:33:00 PM 0 comments

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Sunday, January 17, 2010
Fiona

I spent a while last night with a friend trolling through YouTube videos including a number by Fiona Apple and discovered that I somehow managed to miss this gem from her last record Extraordinary Machine, featuring none other than Zach Galifianakis.

Also, inaugural "crushes" addition: Fiona Apple.

Labels: crushes, curiosities, la cine, lolgore, music, videos

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/17/2010 03:00:00 PM 0 comments

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Sunday, January 10, 2010
Le Phoenix

These videos were posted a few months ago and honestly, they are great. Phoenix are sweet, beautiful men and I'm more or less in love with them. See two other videos, for "1901" and "Lost Distance Call" here at La Blogotheque.

Labels: curiosities, loved sounds, music, videos

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/10/2010 11:07:00 PM 1 comments

1 Comments:

hotdoorknobs said...: best; 1/12/2010 05:06:00 PM

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Musings From a Public Bathroom On Roosevelt Island

"NO PEACE FOR THE WICKED."

Labels: curiosities, lolgore, Men's Photo Club, photography, quicksnaps, roosevelt

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/10/2010 11:38:00 AM 1 comments

1 Comments:

jayson said...: you needed to have added "SLEEP WITH THE VULTURE.'; 1/11/2010 09:58:00 AM

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Friday, January 08, 2010
Sometimes I Don't Know Why I Do The Things I Do

JeffreyBeaumont: john just sent me this http://www.mediafire.com/?jmyhxv4myyd
JeffreyBeaumont: quote: "ShrimpCracker: 1st song is legit"
hotdorknobs: good god.
JeffreyBeaumont: 99 problems over scarlet begonias
hotdorknobs: good god.
hotdorknobs: i didn't bother downloading
hotdorknobs: haha
JeffreyBeaumont: no, dont
JeffreyBeaumont: also
JeffreyBeaumont: IT'S 2010
JeffreyBeaumont: BLACK ALBUM CAME OUT SIX+ YEARS AGO
JeffreyBeaumont: SERIOUSLY DUDES

JeffreyBeaumont: so.....
JeffreyBeaumont: "dirt off yr shoulder / fire on the mountain"
JeffreyBeaumont: ok nevermind
hotdorknobs: LOL @ "almost annoyingly reasonable"

LISTEN:

Jay-Z/Grateful Dead by Spinjunkie - "Dirt Off Your Shoulder / Fire On The Mountain"

Labels: curiosities, Dead, deprarious, fucktactics, lolgore, mp3, music

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/08/2010 04:24:00 PM 0 comments

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Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Nursing The Technics

When I took this photo a few days ago, I thought the girl's pink hat/
tights combo was all keen gear but somehow I failed to take note of
the turntable nestled comfortably on dude's legs. Uncoincidentally,
this train was headed home to Williamsburg.

Labels: curiosities, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/06/2010 10:23:00 PM 0 comments

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Saturday, January 02, 2010
YEZZIR: Throat Gulp Edition

We've entered a new era of "Deal With It" in-your-face realism.

Labels: case studies, curiosities, lolgore, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/02/2010 03:58:00 PM 0 comments

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Monday, December 28, 2009
IF I EVER WROTE A SONG THIS SPECIAL I WOULD BE A MILLIONAIRES

GOOD MORNING AMERICA LETS EAT A COMPUTER

Labels: curiosities, lolgore, love, paper rad, videos

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 12/28/2009 12:54:00 AM 0 comments

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Tuesday, December 22, 2009
TRUCKBLOGGIN' #5: Chawtastic

Anyone who knows me knows that one of my many mantras is "I'll try
anything once", and how could a trip to a farm to load milk onto a
truck not include an offer to do a little chewing tobacco, right?

Above on the ground you will see the chaw that I held in my mouth for
approximately three minutes before being advised by a ten year old
girl to spit it out so as not to end up like her cousin, who spent a
night puking after his first time chewing.

It was both more intense and more gross than I'd imagined it to be,
but also a worthy experience in the Book of Beaumont Life Actuation.

Labels: curiosities, deprarious, fucktactics, lolgore, mark jaffe, quicksnaps, Truckbloggin

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 12/22/2009 04:34:00 PM 0 comments

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Friday, December 18, 2009
YEZZIR: Triumphant "Plotting The Great Wall" Edition

A moment of tremendous and beauteous pride from deep within my gutheart: She Hate Me is currently in China visiting the 'Rents has tagged the fucking Great Wall of China with a Brainplotting sticker. Deal with it, dudes!

Labels: curiosities, fun, lolgore, quicksnaps, YEZZIR

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 12/18/2009 10:15:00 AM 1 comments

1 Comments:

E-BAD said...: This post has been removed by the author.; 12/18/2009 11:16:00 PM

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Tuesday, December 15, 2009
I Was Really Hoping It Would Just Be Reset To '00000', I Guess

Labels: case studies, curiosities

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 12/15/2009 02:10:00 PM 0 comments

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Thursday, December 10, 2009
In Watermelon Flour Deeds Were Done

This is an amazing watermelon cake that Ringo made for Alex upon his arrival home from another month of touring. Honestly--amazing.

Note that that red is so bright that my DSLR camera was unable in the low-ish light to capture the detail of cake--it basically all bleeds together, literally.

Anyway, kudos, Ringo.

Labels: curiosities, food, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 12/10/2009 12:47:00 AM 0 comments

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Wednesday, December 09, 2009
What Happens Next?

JeffreyBeaumont: gonna pass that 10k last.fm barrier soon
JeffreyBeaumont: 99348
jaychampionvinyl: holy jesus
jaychampionvinyl: what awaits you
jaychampionvinyl: on the other side?
jaychampionvinyl: the King of Music
jaychampionvinyl: will call you
jaychampionvinyl: and kiss your forehead

Labels: BEAUMONT, case studies, curiosities

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 12/09/2009 01:52:00 PM 0 comments

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Friday, December 04, 2009
REBLOG: Symbologists

I don't typically do straight reblogs but sometimes KJ just makes me lose my shit.

This piece of amazingness comes from her great blog Debauched Sloth and I recommend highly that you all check it out and add to your Google Reader as soon as you are able if you haven't yet.

Sent to you by Jeffrey via Google Reader:

MS Paint Portfolio: When Jeffrey has kids

via Debauched Sloth on 11/25/09

late-night speculations.

Und so weiter...

JeffreyBeaumont: that's amazing
KJ: She Hate Me and i decided all your children will be born with mathematical symbol tattoos

ShrimpCracker: can they find photos of babies
ShrimpCracker: and photoshop symbols onto them
ShrimpCracker: and make a fake Jeffrey Beaumont Xmas card
ShrimpCracker: hahahhaha
JeffreyBeaumont: i will have to inquire about that
ShrimpCracker: its amazing just thinking about it

Labels: art, BEAUMONT, Beaumont Nerderati, case studies, curiosities, IMs, lolgore

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 12/04/2009 05:37:00 PM 1 comments

1 Comments:

E-BAD said...: they forgot the importance of the imaginary numbers. I'd say that would be have to be kid number 1. Or rather the square root of. My children will be named after various talking heads from NPR.; 12/07/2009 10:36:00 AM

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Monday, November 30, 2009
New Spoon Track Available Now! Exclusively at .... NPR.org??

Spoon have released the first single from their upcoming January record Transference ... exclusively to NPR's All Songs Considered.

I don't need to say much more on this than, "Weird" and, "The Times, They Are A-Changin'".

LISTEN:

Labels: curiosities, music, Spoon

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 11/30/2009 06:49:00 PM 0 comments

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Tuesday, November 24, 2009
DORKCLIMBERS

JeffreyBeaumont: jayson greene used the word "horkheimered" in his review of the latest gift of gab record for pitchfork
SheHateMe: holy shit!
SheHateMe: what's the sentence?
JeffreyBeaumont: "He gets in his own way time and again here; on 'Dreamin', he flounders over a stuttering, malfunctioning-robot delivery while both Del Tha Funkee Homosapien and Brother Ali lap him easily by trying half as hard. Worse, once you extricate his words from the horkheimered contraptions he has ensnared them in, you are usually left with lines limper than day-old pasta."

JeffreyBeaumont: but seriously
JeffreyBeaumont: is horkheimered a word?
jaychampionvinyl: hahahahahahahahah
jaychampionvinyl: nah
JeffreyBeaumont: really?
jaychampionvinyl: I have sometimes seen it used to describe needlessly convoluted structures
jaychampionvinyl: like, once
jaychampionvinyl: hahaha
jaychampionvinyl: I googled it today after we had that exchange and now can't find anything
jaychampionvinyl: I don't THINK I am capable of seriously just inventing that level of neologism
jaychampionvinyl: but I don't know how or where I came across it
jaychampionvinyl: what's more, TWO editors at Pfork edited this review and neither of them seemed to have the slightest bit of a problem of "horkheimer"
jaychampionvinyl: which is amazing in its own right
JeffreyBeaumont: hahhahah
JeffreyBeaumont: fucking dicks
jaychampionvinyl: HORKHEIMER
JeffreyBeaumont: PORKSLIMER
jaychampionvinyl: DORK CLIMBER
jaychampionvinyl: hahahahahahah
jaychampionvinyl: FORK DINER
jaychampionvinyl: CORK BLINDER
JeffreyBeaumont: STORK WHINER
jaychampionvinyl: TORQUE MINDER

SheHateMe: wow
SheHateMe: this word will be jayson's legacy

Labels: curiosities, IMs, lolgore, words

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 11/24/2009 01:31:00 PM 0 comments

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Monday, November 23, 2009
Don't Get Abused By Those Fat Bitches

The above is a note found amidst all of the leftover shit we cleaned up after our conference last week, presumably penned by some of the help we'd hired to assist at a dinner; I am assuming they are speaking in regard to some of my female colleagues.

In case you can't read it, it says:

Writer #1: "We keep getting left out of the 'Do you need anything? Do you want food?' loop"

Writer #2: "I know!! Why do they hate us?? I feel like we are being abused by those fat bitches."

Seriously!

I have already laughed out loud at this note eighteen times today, and it has already gone up on my bulletin board next to my Pink Floyd pig and note from my co-worker's daughter.

Labels: curiosities, lolgore, REAL LIFE IMs

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 11/23/2009 04:08:00 PM 0 comments

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Sunday, November 22, 2009
Every Once In A While I'm Thrown By The Clues In The New York Times Crossword Puzzle

By thrown I mean, "Surprised that this is actually a clue they're giving us."

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 11/22/2009 11:18:00 AM 0 comments

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Tuesday, November 17, 2009
My Exquisite Replica Of Eternity

Cabbie: i just looked at slang editorial
Cabbie: and saw your office space
Cabbie: for the first time ever
JeffreyBeaumont: haa
Cabbie: and its weird to be like 'oh here is this place ben spends a LOT of his time that i know nothing about and have never even visualized'
JeffreyBeaumont: that is a really interesting thought

Cabbie: when you are talking to me from work you are just in this nothingingess of space
Cabbie: a voice speaking from the abyss of my imagination, you know what i mean
Cabbie: so to see it
Cabbie: hah
Cabbie: woah

Labels: cubelife, curiosities, IMs

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 11/17/2009 01:41:00 AM 1 comments

1 Comments:

E-BAD said...: actually, i had wondered myself. my cubicle has a small log i found in it. get me out of this work life!; 11/21/2009 03:25:00 PM

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Thursday, October 29, 2009
The Two Jayoots

Weird IM chat list yesterday with two Jayson Greenes

JeffreyBeaumont: there are no longer two jayson greenes on my chat list
JeffreyBeaumont: just you
JeffreyBeaumont: i met the "other" jayson greene last night
JeffreyBeaumont: she was alarmed that her identity had been usurped
jaychampionvinyl: haahahaa!
jaychampionvinyl: but you assured her that her identity had been stolen by someone highly reputable?
JeffreyBeaumont: of course
JeffreyBeaumont: to the point of confusing her

JeffreyBeaumont: you are now showing up as lindsay
JeffreyBeaumont: and not jayson greene
JeffreyBeaumont: congratulations
Lindsay: oh goodie
Lindsay: i can't stop having my crisis of identity now!
Lindsay: *can
JeffreyBeaumont: hahaha
JeffreyBeaumont: i like the fact that your response was accidently not very assured
Lindsay: clearly i am still in crisis over here
Lindsay: this jason character has really messed with my head
JeffreyBeaumont: YEZZZIR
JeffreyBeaumont: BYE

jaychampionvinyl: hahahaha

Labels: curiosities, IMs, lolgore, YEZZIR

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/29/2009 11:38:00 AM 0 comments

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Bossing Memory

So last night Doorknobs, Jayson, and I were having a conversation about how Judith Light is a human that no one should ever remember, and that it was crazy we were even able to talk about her.

And then now today:

ElDram: I'm not quite syure what im going to wear
ElDram: my friend wants me to be judith light
ElDram: which is fine except its like frump city and i cant really feel attractive wearing a onesie pants suit
ElDram: so i was thinking jane fonda circa 80s workout tapes

jaychampionvinyl: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
jaychampionvinyl: no
jaychampionvinyl: NO
jaychampionvinyl: how
jaychampionvinyl: is'
jaychampionvinyl: that
jaychampionvinyl: possible

hotdoorknobs: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hotdoorknobs: W
hotdoorknobs: T
hotdoorknobs: F
hotdoorknobs: JUDITH FUCKING LIGHT
hotdoorknobs: that is seriously cosmic

Sometimes these things just seem crazy.

Labels: curiosities, IMs, lolgore

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/28/2009 04:53:00 PM 0 comments

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Good Job?

This piece of handmade advertising, found in Coney Island with Mia a few weeks ago, is almost hilariously not helpful or informative. And from what I can tell, GoodJob.tk doesn't even really advertise anything--it's just a junker dumpzone ad space. But make sure to take note: KIDS TOO!

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/28/2009 07:59:00 AM 1 comments

1 Comments:

E-BAD said...: tk posted that; 11/01/2009 04:58:00 PM

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Significant Others

Sustain from Greg King on Vimeo (featuring music by the Rachel's).

I love and will always love Rachel's forever. I have just managed to come across mp3s of two not really available Rachel's tracks that I've been trying to nab forever.

You may remember a while back that I was searching desperately for a copy of the obscure cd-r Significant Others, more or less the last undiscovered puzzle piece to my Rachel's obsession. Sadly, I still haven't been able to track it down--but I do now have its first track. The other track here is a Rachel's penned tune from director Greg King's film Rotating Mirror, featuring a score done entirely by members of the Rachel's. Enjoy!

LISTEN/DOWNLOAD:

Rachel's - "Significant Others #1", from Significant Others

Rachel's - "SCORDATURA" from the film Rotating Mirror by Greg King.

Labels: curiosities, loved sounds, mp3, music, Rachel's, rare

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/28/2009 01:47:00 AM 0 comments

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Tuesday, October 27, 2009
"So A Bunch Of Sissy Pacificists Walk Into A Pistol Range..."

Larger here.

Some scenes from this past weekend's terrific and massively fun visit to the West Side Pistol & Rifle Range.

Surprisingly--or perhaps not at all--KJ (in photo at bottom) was probably the best marksmen of us all--her target sheet was obviously ridiculously good. I was very easily the worst or second worst out of our group of nine. So there's that.

Tally Ho!

LISTEN:
Gang of Four - "Guns Before Butter", Entertainment!

Larger here.

Labels: BEAUMONT, curiosities, lolgore, photography, quicksnaps, YEZZIR

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/27/2009 10:48:00 PM 0 comments

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Sunday, October 25, 2009
Your Arsenal

Continuing the non-ending excitement of the weekend, we went to
Bannerman Island today, and I will tell you that it was completely
fucking awesome. This was the last weekend they are doing tours this
year, but I recommend heartily that you check it out next year.

Labels: curiosities, quicksnaps, travel, VICTORY

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/25/2009 06:08:00 PM 0 comments

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Rock Lobster / Glock Knapsack

This is 100% real. I would also love to investigate those needing not XL or XXL shirts, but XXXL.

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/25/2009 09:06:00 AM 0 comments

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Saturday, October 24, 2009
Careful When Wet

Rest assured, I firmly supported that Corona sixer with a flat-palmed left hand.

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/24/2009 02:36:00 PM 0 comments

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Friday, October 23, 2009
Once A Year

I have been working at this job in various capacities for four and a half years, and one of its many majorly disappointing aspects is the fact that it is located in the heart of No-Food Death To The Living Land, aka Central NYC Midtown. There is so little quality food in this neighborhood that anyone with a tongue for flavor but a small wallet must scour the nookiest nooks to find even semi-solid values (thank god for midtownlunch.com).

As a result of this total shitshow on non-food possibility, I more or less subsist by eating Halal food or mediocre Global Kitchen pizza. Every once in a while though I get a craving for Chinese food and I cave in and go to a take-out place conveniently located directly across the street, Yips. Sadly, every single time it is a terrible mistake.

Don't buy into the semi-positive Midtown Lunch testimony--Yips is absolutely horrible. There is nothing at all good about Yips, other than the fact that it's relatively cheap. Their food, ALL of which is astonishingly greasy, is definitely in a top 5 category of least satisfying Chinese food i've ever eaten.

I have had the misfortune of going to Yips exactly six times, and each time I have finished my meal swearing to myself that I will never EVER go there again, no matter how alluring cheap Chinese food may seem. And yet, every eight or so months enough time has passed since the last time and I'll start talking myself down, slowly... until finally I'm outside and finding myself walking in.

"It's not as bad as I'm remembering it," I say. "You have a tendency to exaggerate," I remind myself (which is true).

But then I go in, order, and eat, and every time.... gah. Terrible. Some people never learn.

Labels: case studies, curiosities, food, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/23/2009 06:00:00 PM 0 comments

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Adventures in Lo-fi

Dead Horse Beach, August 2009. You can see it better by viewing the larger one here.

As a sort of unofficial "Part II" to the Brooklyn Bridge Diptych, here's one from Dead Horse Beach taken by Mark Jaffe this past August from our aborted photo trip to the race track in New Jersey. I gave Mark my Holga to use but didn't really explain the whole rudimentary film advancing process of them and therefore there are a bunch of neat shots sort of like that. Unfortunately I didn't roll the film tightly enough after removing from the camera, but there were still a few ok shots.

Thanks again to Royal Scourge for scanning!

Labels: curiosities, photography, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/23/2009 12:25:00 AM 0 comments

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Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Brooklyn Bridge Diptych

Larger version here, largest versions on Flickr here.

An unintentional diptych of shots taken with Mia on the Brooklyn Bridge last month--I seem to have accidentally rewound the film slightly. I like the way they melt-but-don't-melt into each other.

Probably don't need to state, but make sure and expand a larger version to view properly.

Labels: curiosities, photography, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/21/2009 02:06:00 AM 0 comments

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009
A Small Asian Girl Has Been Leaving Notes In My Office Doorway

"Jeffrey, You Are So Lucky That You Will Be On The News Paper!"

I have no idea who she belongs to or where she came from. I also do not have any idea what she means or is referencing. From the corner of my eye she appeared to be about 7 years old; I think she's probably a little delusional. Also, her name rhymes with mine.

"Thanks. I will write about you now." "[OTHER SIDE--->>>]"

"Jeffrey is working so hard. Thanks so so much Ben for working hard." "NEWS"

Labels: curiosities, god letters, lolgore, REAL LIFE IMs

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/20/2009 05:39:00 PM 1 comments

1 Comments:

E-BAD said...: news tomorrow? violent threats! ORRRR you've gone COMPLETELY insane.; 10/20/2009 07:16:00 PM

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It Ain't Hard To Find...?

Why is it so hard to find a website that lists the Doom instrumentals paired with Nas's raps on the fan-cobbled Nastradoomus? If anyone knows of one, let me know.

Labels: curiosities, music, rap

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/20/2009 11:37:00 AM 2 comments

2 Comments:

sanam said...: Gotta put your back into it:

http://www.angelfire.com/indie/slade916/nastradoomus.html; 10/20/2009 06:12:00 PM
Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything said...: this is a victory for me and all dorks worldwide.; 10/20/2009 11:04:00 PM

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Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Father's Milk

Sanam: dude
Sanam: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=47119
Sanam: you may not be able to carry a child, but apparently, you can breast feed.
JeffreyBeaumont: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JeffreyBeaumont: ummmmmm
JeffreyBeaumont: "I'm going to have to pull out the pump during lectures," he told The Local. "But really it doesn't bother me if it makes people uncomfortable. If they have issues with it that's their problem."
JeffreyBeaumont: also, there are four consecutive hilarious comments by someone named "Jamie1977"
JeffreyBeaumont: "Act like a man you if you were my son I'd take you into the back garden and give you a few slaps, although no doubt being some effeminate swede you would back down and cry or run away instead of being a man"
Sanam: that is amazing
Sanam: "What happened to the race of men that were once hard bastard Vikings ???"
Sanam: she makes a good point
Sanam: I've often wished that more men in my life would act like vikings
Sanam: or specifically, dress like vikings
JeffreyBeaumont: hahahahahah.

JeffreyBeaumont: i don't even understand this, other than that he's not so keen on "japs":
JeffreyBeaumont: "Probaly the same as those idiot Japs, for some strange and bizarre reason Japanese men are wearing bra's god only knows why but when I think of Japs I think of hard warriors, Samurai, good machines, Honda, suzuki and good techological know how and hard souless trading techniques that made Japanese Buisneses the way it is !!!!"
JeffreyBeaumont: the fact that there are four lengthy and somewhat disconnected comments spaced 5 minutes apart too adds to the whole, "yep" factor
Sanam: I like the one addressed specifically to the guy
Sanam: "hey dude,"
Sanam: also important to point out: this guy is reading the SF Gate, which is the most liberal, pansy ass newspaper in the world
JeffreyBeaumont: he feels like he's gotta speak four times to make up for the dearth of Real CountryMen
Sanam: seriously
Sanam: I can dig it, though
Sanam: when I went down south
Sanam: I suddenly felt very protective of my country
Sanam: and also very suspicious of liberal yankee fucks
Sanam: like evan and joe
Sanam: if one of them had started breastfeeding, I probably would've punched them in the face
Sanam: it's all about context

ALSO:

JeffreyBeaumont: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=47119
jaychampvinyl: hahahahaah holy shit
jaychampvinyl: he's just pumping away
jaychampvinyl: waiting for milk
jaychampvinyl: that's horrible
jaychampvinyl: where the fuck does he think it's going to come from??

Labels: curiosities, fucktactics, IMs, lolgore

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/13/2009 05:42:00 PM 0 comments

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Thursday, October 08, 2009
Holy Rock-afire NIN Explosion!

HAAAA! YEZZIR!!

Labels: curiosities, la cine, lolgore, music, VICTORY, videos, YEZZIR

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/08/2009 06:07:00 PM 0 comments

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Tuesday, October 06, 2009
A Great Example Of When One's Hair Might Have Grown Prohibitively Long

Crop of original photo viewable here.

Holy cow, the fun continues.

Still making my way through photos and came across this hilarious shot taken in Walt Whitman Park after walking over the Brooklyn Bridge with Mia at 9am (we woke up at 7 and walked from Union Square all the way there--first time I'd ever been down Broadway in daylight without seeing any humans): many dudes, maybe 30, playing soccer** and seemingly rejoicing in great harmony of the leather ball and togetherness. And one of them among them, with the longest, most insane dreadlock ever worn by man.

It's not entirely easy to make the whole thing out (I really should have asked him to pose up close) but basically the man has a few long locks, two which are so lengthy that one is wrapped around his waist like a belt (AND around his neck like a necklace) and the other drapes all the way down to his shins.

Meaning, he is an actual human approximation of Bib Fortuna.

!!!!!!!!!!

Good times here, always. New York, have I mentioned to you recently how much I love you?

NOTES:
**-- Mia groaned after when we got near them after realizing when I'd said they were playing fussball and not (American) football. "Oh, this" she said, deflated and instantly bored, "What do you Americans call this, Suck-er? This reminds me of every boring minute of my life."

Labels: "Sleep With The Vulture", cockblocking, curiosities, deprarious, lolgore, photography, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/06/2009 09:07:00 PM 0 comments

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Really?

Lil' Beau' ordered a record for her beau's birthday which finally arrived today after two weeks of mailorder shenanigans. It just arrived at my office today in the hilarious packaging above.

A full box for a record? Really?

[ED: Red "paint" added after I was informed that I'd inadvertently risked revealing the whole surprise. Yep.]

Labels: curiosities, FAIL, family, fucktactics, lolgore, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/06/2009 02:36:00 PM 0 comments

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Monday, October 05, 2009
Unexpected Linx (UPDATED)

I just bought myself a digital copy of Raekwon's much-hyped Only Built 4 Cuban Linx II, which right now you can pick up from Amazon.com for a cheap $5.

Hilariously though, check out in the screenshot below in the "Customers who bought this music also bought:" section.....

Ummmmmm.... REALLY? I know this is all high merger days shit and whatnot but WHAT??? Six rap records, albeit with one admittedly supercracker release (sorry, Brother Ali), but all hiphop and five of them of the uberhiphop variety. And then... GIRLS, Album. Seriously.

I would surprised but not too surprised if Beck or MGMT popped up here... but GIRLS (or should I say, Dudes)? Weird.

[ED: Pains Alex says: "100% the pitchfork 'best new music' factor. 100%. still hilarious though!"]

Labels: curiosities, music, rap

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/05/2009 09:25:00 AM 0 comments

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Friday, October 02, 2009
The Heart of Dirkness

Kirk walks the land, passing out tracts:

In tracts he hands out to all who will take them as he treks across the benighted land, Kirk cites certain passages of his own particular inspiration, but stresses that each man or woman's path to comprehension of the light, each individual circumstance of seeing will be unique and unknowable save that it must come from the sincerest desire to know, to apprehend the light.

--from The Consummation of Dirk Nowitzki, by Jonathan Callahan

So I (and possibly you) thought that I loved Dirk Nowitzki. Holy Jesus.

Clearly my love for The Dunking Deutscher is nothing compared to the relationship author Jonathan Callahan has with the man, as outlined in the longform writing piece linked above. Saying this as a man who goes out of his way to discover strange errata, this "piece" is quite possibly the most insane thing I have ever (attempted to) read.

Please read the piece for yourself--it is beyond surreal (literally). And then check out this interview with Callahan, which doesn't do anything to clear up the idea that Callahan might be, as described by Deadspin, "batshit insane".

Sometimes life is just nothing but crazy.

Labels: curiosities, deprarious, Dirk, lolgore

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/02/2009 10:38:00 PM 0 comments

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Life On The Road

I often see dead birds in my journeys wandering around New York, but rarely do I see a completely flattened bird wing almost entirely red from blood.

Labels: animals, curiosities, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/02/2009 12:46:00 PM 2 comments

2 Comments:

E-BAD said...: thats a chicken wing from the hassidic end of yom kippur slaughter... shit happens; 10/02/2009 12:51:00 PM
Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything said...: Good call. Wasn't expecting that though since I was in midtown (I think 41 & 5 Av maybe). Still weird.; 10/02/2009 12:56:00 PM

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Doing It The Hard Way, Always

On the topic of fairly random and unhelpful statistical lumpings, one such category would be absolutely meaningless "_____ greatest by a player who bats righty, throws lefty."

Why? Basically NO ONE bats righty and throws lefty. Like, really, NO ONE. You would think out of only six possible batting/throwing combos (right/left/switch batting x right/left throwing) there would be a decent dispersion of players in all categories, and there is... in the other five. But of the righty swingers lefty throwers category there has really just only been a strange small handful -- literally 25.

Steve Treder of The Hardball Times earlier this year did us the service of evaluating and ranking all twenty-five of them, which you can read here. A glimpse through the names yields but five that present any note to me:

5) Brian Hunter (the stocky first-baseman, not the light-hitting CF speedster

Brian Hunter holds a bit of note to me as he was responsible for sharing first-base duties in the early 90s Braves Dynasty with Sid Bream (whoa, that name doesn't even sound real anymore) before Fred McGriff was brought on-board in July 1993 and my entire world exploded. As the Braves have been my favorite team for the past twenty seasons, all of their various men have meant something to me at one point or another and Hunter is no different. However, at his peak--which lasted about two seasons--he was a decent platooon player, but no more

4) Jason Lane

A recent supporting player on the Houston Astrosin the earlier part of this decade. I am familiar with his exploits.

3) Cody Lane

A recent supporting player for the Florida Marlins. I am not familiar with his exploits but I have heard his name mentioned before.

2) Ryan Ludwick

A legitimately good player who had an excellent past two seasons for St. Louis before this year's relative mediocrity (though he has been coming on stronger as the year comes to a close).

And of course, our top dog:

1) Rickey Henderson

Literally the only player on this list to have a great or arguably even good career, The Rickey is The Man when it comes to Bats Lefty, Throws Righty. Once again, Rickey, like with everything else he's done, stands alone.

Of course, this entire topic is of slightly greater note to one Jeffrey Beaumont, because ... drum roll... like all of these men, he too bats righty, and throws lefty. Which probably makes me the twenty-ninth greatest Bats Righty, Throws Lefty ballplayer ever (hey, I could throw 74 mph when I was in 9th grade). Seriously though, this is not something I choose--and according to Treder, of all the six possiblities is the least physically advantageous combination I could have been (Still, thanks, Dad!). And doesn't this description more or less define my entire existence:

So here we've got athletes displaying enough ambidextrousness to bat one way and throw the other. Yet not only do they eschew the switch-hitting option (which admittedly is far easier to do in theory than in practice), these guys find themselves in the least advantageous circumstance both offensively and defensively. One hopes it came about through some manner of unusual and immutable brain wiring, because to the extent that deliberate decision-making might have been involved, these guys got it double-wrong.

It's so perfectly deprarious I couldn't have dreamt it better myself.

Me and Rickey, down by the schoolyard.

Labels: baseball, BEAUMONT, case studies, curiosities, deprarious, lolgore

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 9/30/2009 06:49:00 PM 0 comments

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Beaumont Family Whatever

I am sitting in my underwear drinking a beer while watching women's basketball on television and Lil' Beau is taking a bath while doing her homework.

Labels: basketball, curiosities, fucktactics, lolgore

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 9/29/2009 09:49:00 PM 2 comments

2 Comments:

Adam Berkowitz said...: beer and women's basketball? OMG AREYOUALESBIAN?; 9/29/2009 10:10:00 PM
Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything said...: i like to think of myself as more of a spirit-catcher.; 9/30/2009 09:21:00 AM

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Friday, September 25, 2009
Giant Friend

Though I will most likely not be bringing this friend into my life.

Labels: animals, curiosities, lolgore

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 9/25/2009 03:11:00 PM 0 comments

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Too Often I Wonder Why It Is That I Still Work In An Office

It's moments like these that make me yearn for straitjackets and barbiturates.

File absolutely under D, DEPRARIOUS.

Labels: curiosities, deprarious, FAIL, fucktactics, lolgore, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 9/25/2009 01:54:00 PM 0 comments

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Sunday, September 20, 2009
Parktime Playboys

Not sure if you can see it in the photo below but this boy is holding
a vacuum cleaner.....?

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 9/20/2009 02:27:00 PM 0 comments

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Sunday, September 06, 2009
Straight-Edge Brunch

Labels: curiosities, lolgore

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 9/06/2009 12:19:00 PM 0 comments

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Thursday, August 27, 2009
Personas Internetus

Click here to enlarge. Or here for the other bro.

Find out your own here.

Labels: curiosities

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 8/27/2009 08:24:00 PM 0 comments

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Friday, July 24, 2009
New York Is A Strange Place Even To Me, Pt III: Television Launches

Took these shots a few weeks ago as part of NBC's rebranding of the Sci-Fi Channel as "Syfy".... yes, well, more Midtown absurdity.

Labels: curiosities, fucktactics, New York Is A Strange Place, photography, quicksnaps

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 7/24/2009 06:53:00 PM 0 comments

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Monday, July 20, 2009
One Of These Four Does Not Belong

Found this bit today while having a lobster roll lunch today in the town of Wolfeboro(ugh) at a place called the Dockside Grille. Maybe I'm crazy but I don't think "blueberry muffin" when running through the various side dishes I might want to have with my fried clams or lobster roll.

Labels: curiosities, quicksnaps, quickthoughts

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 7/20/2009 08:17:00 PM 0 comments

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