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| Amigos: Hyperliving (RIP) Beaumont Flickr The Knoblr Tammy and Mandy EK Little Blog HeightFiveSeven See You Next Thursday Hendo Bendo Blog Bonanza Mengelmier's Carnival Songs Save Lives Blue Coyote Jeff & RB's "A Ride A Day" Popomoho IRAFRIEDMAN LoveBryan" Live Wrong and Proper Sweeeetheart Fever Ringo Have a Banana! |
| Music/Culture Chatter: Stereogum I Love Music Split Infinitives S/FJ Cowboyz n' Poodles Brooklyn Vegan |
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Monday, November 09, 2009 Ball Ache Etc. JeffreyBeaumont: i just got a work email from a client with the line, "Is filming the lunch out of the question, or just logistically a ball ache?" jaychampionvinyl: LOGISTICALLY A BALL ACHE jaychampionvinyl: you are winning life Labels: IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 11/09/2009 05:16:00 PM 0 comments Thursday, November 05, 2009 Happy Wing Day, Jayson Today is Jayson Greene's birthday. God, I love that man. For every reason i've ever stated, and more. jaychampionvinyl: hey hey hey jaychampionvinyl: question jaychampionvinyl: tonight JeffreyBeaumont: yes jaychampionvinyl: I am thinking we get hot wings jaychampionvinyl: at this establishmentL jaychampionvinyl: http://www.bbqincrvc.com/Croxley/Manhattan_Main_Page.html jaychampionvinyl: here is a close -up pic of the wings at this establishment: jaychampionvinyl: http://pennypalate.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/wings.jpg JeffreyBeaumont: hahahahaha dude JeffreyBeaumont: you are amazing Labels: IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 11/05/2009 02:04:00 PM 1 comments 1
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009 Wen You Might Have Seen A Ghost / I'm Glad I'm Not The Inventor Of The Internet jaychampionvinyl: I don't understand this jaychampionvinyl: haha JeffreyBeaumont: a small asian girl has been leaving me notes JeffreyBeaumont: I do not understand what they mean JeffreyBeaumont: or why they were written for me jaychampionvinyl: you literally found these notes? jaychampionvinyl: how do you know she is a small Asian girl? JeffreyBeaumont: i saw her in the corner of my eye jaychampionvinyl: what!?!?!?!?!?! jaychampionvinyl: she's in your office?? JeffreyBeaumont: yes jaychampionvinyl: umm... jaychampionvinyl: is she real? JeffreyBeaumont: i did not write those notes myself JeffreyBeaumont: though using the name "Wen" and offering no photo would certainly be tough evidence in favor of me being an insane person jaychampionvinyl: well jaychampionvinyl: she kinda sounds like either a ghost or a creepy/terrifying hallucination ----------------- Sanam: this is amazing Sanam: also, you are intensely prolificJeffreyBeaumont: ADHD JeffreyBeaumont: to the megafucking max JeffreyBeaumont: "the persistent and pervasive effects of ADHD symptoms can insidiously and severely interfere with one's ability to get the most out of education and fulfill one's potential in the workplace" Sanam: "but the internet is forever grateful" JeffreyBeaumont: i was born in advance of the internet so that when it launched i would able to help it hit the ground running Sanam: that is a huge amount of foresight on the part of your parents JeffreyBeaumont: well, they did vote for al gore after all JeffreyBeaumont: inventor of the Internet and foreseerer of geoclimactic devastation Sanam: what a terrible fate Sanam: to be a sage shaman-type figure, but not charismatic enough for anyone to pay any attention Sanam: like if jesus came back to earth, but he was a mannequin in a macy's window JeffreyBeaumont: wow. that is amazing. Labels: IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/20/2009 06:15:00 PM 0 comments Monday, October 19, 2009 Looking Back And Whatnot  For those of you who ever wondered.... JeffreyBeaumont: why the fuck did kanye give all those beats to common JeffreyBeaumont:at the time it seemed cool but not crazy JeffreyBeaumont:but given kanye's ascension since then it seems pretty nuts jaychampionvinyl: because Common 1) is also from Chicago, 2) used to be legitimately awesome, 3) was friends with the producer who mentored Kanye (No ID), and pre-love fuzzy vibes makeover, was exactly the kind of thoughtful, reflective, yet still boastful and funny sort of rapper Kanye wanted to be JeffreyBeaumont:haa POW jaychampionvinyl: it only seems like a crazy/terrible idea in retrospect, now that he has become rap's Sting JeffreyBeaumont: dum dah-duh Labels: case studies, IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, quickthoughts, rap posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/19/2009 03:45:00 PM 0 comments More Mendering  jaychampionvinyl: hahahaha I love this thing about Joanna N. on Slang JeffreyBeaumont: oh thanks jaychampionvinyl: "POETASTER" jaychampionvinyl: dude, on one song on Ys, she goes on about "hydroenchephalitic peonies" (sp?) JeffreyBeaumont: durrrr........ jaychampionvinyl: I read this profile where the interviewer teases her about her use of big words and uses that as an example jaychampionvinyl: and she's like, "that's the only word I could think of" jaychampionvinyl: HAHAH Also: --Click here for the 2006 Arthur magazine profile I referenced in last post. --And I wrote about Joanna a bit on Slang back in 2006 here (scroll below essay on familial understanding) and listen to "Sawdust and Diamonds" from her sophomore outing. Labels: crushes, IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, Joanna Newsom I Love You. posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/19/2009 10:45:00 AM 1 comments 1
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Monday, September 28, 2009 Rest In Peace: Platinum Respect Edition  JeffreyBeaumont: Umm, holla JeffreyBeaumont: http://www.emusic.com/artist/Big-L-MP3-Download/11754989.html Jayson: HOLY FUCK Jayson: I did NOT know we had this Jayson: I am making this a Staff Pick, RIGHT FUCKING NOW Jayson: such a classic JeffreyBeaumont: a "classic" that's actually a classic JeffreyBeaumont: plus it has the benefit of featuring a pipsqueak jay-z and camron! Jayson: yes! Jayson: rhyming like the guy from Naughty By Nature (jay, that is) Jayson: he sounds hilariously young and not at all imposing Jayson: or charismatic in the slightest JeffreyBeaumont: hence pipsqueak JeffreyBeaumont: he sounds like a lil dude PSYCHED to be someone's record Jayson: haha yes Jayson: he sounds like MEMPHIS BLEEK JeffreyBeaumont: from AllMusicGuide review: "With better production and marketing, Big L might have found himself with a platinum album but instead he settled for platinum respect" JeffreyBeaumont: how about, "he settled for relative obscurity before being gunned down?" Jayson: hahahaha Jayson: god, Platinum Respect needs to be the name of a Koch rapper's next album Jayson: That can be a new Joe Budden lyric Jayson: "Yeah records aint sold, but the checks? Still cashin em/Albums ain't gone gold, but MY RESPECT IS PLATINUM" Jayson: <-----Joe Budden(s)'s new ghostwriter LISTEN: Big L - "Da Graveyard (featuring Jay-Z and Cam'ron)", from Lifestylez Ov Da Poor & Dangerous Big L - "Put It On", from Lifestylez Ov Da Poor & Dangerous Labels: IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, lolgore, mp3, music, rap posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 9/28/2009 05:41:00 PM 0 comments Tuesday, September 15, 2009 Re-appraisals: Upon Which Our Heroes Get Excited And Then Rapidly Disappointed By Ill Communication  In our fourth attempt at revisiting our musical pasts, Jayson and I chose the Beastie Boys' Ill Communication, and were quickly reminded how absence can make the heart grow fonder... and an unexpected return can remind the heart why relations were lost. This is insanely long, so don't read unless you are bored or think you really love(d) mid 90s Beastie Boys. -------------- jaychampvinyl: I'm ready styrofoamfuror: GO styrofoamfuror: i have not listened to this in so long styrofoamfuror: and the last time i did in earnest, i knew so so little about rap music jaychampvinyl: I am liking this so much already jaychampvinyl: last time I heard this, the things I knew about rap were via osmosis jaychampvinyl: 1) Public Enemy are cool jaychampvinyl: 2) Skee Lo has a great song styrofoamfuror: i knew all about "gangsta rap" styrofoamfuror: and the Cypress Hill/House of Pain crew jaychampvinyl: right jaychampvinyl: I guess I did too jaychampvinyl: but I didn't care for it styrofoamfuror: by college i knew about groups like Tribe and Black Star and Dilated Peoples and J5 styrofoamfuror: but what i still knew nothing about was New York hiphop and "classic hiphop" jaychampvinyl: right styrofoamfuror: (some of which overlappped) jaychampvinyl: by college, I had figured out some Wu Tang, Jay Z's REasonable Doubt, and Nas's Illmatifc jaychampvinyl: tho I didn't spend tons of time with any of it jaychampvinyl: I had the first Wu Tang record, I had supreme clientele jaychampvinyl: and those two records jaychampvinyl: others: Lauryn Hill, The Roots THings Fall Apart, Black Star jaychampvinyl: Eminem's Marshal Mathers LP jaychampvinyl: and this and Paul's Boutique jaychampvinyl: probbbbbbably about it jaychampvinyl: oof, "Tough Guy"--this fake Bad Brains shit has aged terribly jaychampvinyl: and wasn't ever really even good, actually jaychampvinyl: just kinda meant to signify that this was also something that you needed to like if you were going to get down with the new multiculti handbook jaychampvinyl: so they kinda served as DJs styrofoamfuror: i remmeber that Tough Guy and Heart Attack man never sat well with me styrofoamfuror: B-Boys Makin with the Freak Freak sounds like mid 90s Beck styrofoamfuror: a lot styrofoamfuror: or perhaps vice versa jaychampvinyl: yes jaychampvinyl: not sure which way that goes either styrofoamfuror: though i have repeated the line, "If i knew it was gonna be this kind of party...." styrofoamfuror: sooooooo many times jaychampvinyl: It actually just sounds like a complete retread of "So Whatcha Want" jaychampvinyl: kinda interesting, tho: this still sounds "cool!" styrofoamfuror: i think i forgot that by this point especially they were frequently using effects on their voices styrofoamfuror: to compensate for the fact that they were three reedy sounding white dudes jaychampvinyl: I was kinda expecting for this to be cringeworthy jaychampvinyl: in a way jaychampvinyl: the production, in particular, I was thinking would sound terrible styrofoamfuror: i suspect it is much less cringeworthy than Check Yr Head would sound now jaychampvinyl: yes! jaychampvinyl: seconded styrofoamfuror: i remember 10 years ago being sorta alone in preferring Ill Communication over that record (whatever nonsense that means) jaychampvinyl: yeah, me too jaychampvinyl: John told me that Ill Communication was just a poppier version of Check Your Head styrofoamfuror: it's also more of an actual rap album styrofoamfuror: Check Yr Head is more a not great rock/funk album styrofoamfuror: Root Down still sounds great styrofoamfuror: god the samples they used were so fucking tasteful jaychampvinyl: I know!!!!! jaychampvinyl: this record is fucking great jaychampvinyl: GREAT styrofoamfuror: back then i sort of didn't understand sampling and just figured they made everything styrofoamfuror: i'd never heard ANY of these samples jaychampvinyl: oh man, same here jaychampvinyl: maybe not as much here, because they talked so much about finding old funk records jaychampvinyl: but I NO IDEA that gangsta rappers used samples jaychampvinyl: I had no inkling that Dre records, or Biggie records, or anything where you couldn't hear the actual record scratching, were samples of older songs styrofoamfuror: now i know that so much of these comes from awesome 70s jazz records styrofoamfuror: and funk records styrofoamfuror: and fucking Sabotage styrofoamfuror: I can remember the very moment i first heard this song jaychampvinyl: this still sounds like slow-motion walking bands of roving badasses entering your town with spiked bats jaychampvinyl: but please share your sabotage story styrofoamfuror: i had just gotten to germany for a three week visit styrofoamfuror: July 1994 styrofoamfuror: i was excited but bummed about misssing little league all-stars jaychampvinyl: haha, a good way to begin any story styrofoamfuror: I was sick and staying at my aunt's house watching german MTV all day styrofoamfuror: i remember one day seeing the All-4-One song "I Swear" SEVEN times jaychampvinyl: YES styrofoamfuror: four times on MTV styrofoamfuror: and three times on the german channel styrofoamfuror: sabotage sounded like literally the coolest thing i'd ever heard styrofoamfuror: evre jaychampvinyl: it still kind of does!!!! jaychampvinyl: jesus, this song is actually giving me chills jaychampvinyl: IT'S SO FUCKING AWESOM E jaychampvinyl: GAHHHstyrofoamfuror: i spent the entirety of my trip looking forward to coming home and buying the record jaychampvinyl: haha jaychampvinyl: oh man, this Q-Tip song [Get it Together] styrofoamfuror: yeah dude jaychampvinyl: this is sorta the record where they became actual hip hop royalty styrofoamfuror: i had no idea who he was jaychampvinyl: I had heard him SO much in my bro's car styrofoamfuror: "Black dude on Beastie Boys record not biz markie?: jaychampvinyl: hahahaha jaychampvinyl: yes styrofoamfuror: the production on this track is fucking great too styrofoamfuror: the way they work a q-tip sample into the chorus styrofoamfuror: he even references biz markies jaychampvinyl: yes! styrofoamfuror: so i thouhgt maybe it was biz markie jaychampvinyl: this beat jaychampvinyl: is SO WEIRD styrofoamfuror: i remember it took me forever and ever to be able to identify which of the beastie boys were which jaychampvinyl: oh god jaychampvinyl: yeah styrofoamfuror: i think i've forgotten now but i think you need to learn how to listen to rap music jaychampvinyl: god, you REALLY do styrofoamfuror: like, in the beginning i think rap can be kind of confusing styrofoamfuror: so many voices chiming in jaychampvinyl: soooo confusing! styrofoamfuror: often for just a verse jaychampvinyl: and saying so many nonsesnical things jaychampvinyl: I listened to Illmatic like five hundred times trying to figure out why it was groundbreaking in college jaychampvinyl: I liked it enough jaychampvinyl: and some of it was obvious jaychampvinyl: but SO MANY LINES that just sailed past me jaychampvinyl: about 80 percent of them, I'd say jaychampvinyl: were just noises flying over my head styrofoamfuror: i think another key thing was that in 1995 as a 13 year old knowing nothing about rap, i missed the one bazillion references on this record styrofoamfuror: so so so many lines quoting other rap songs styrofoamfuror: at a point down the road, by prob 98 or so, i was pretty obsessed with the instrumentals jaychampvinyl: this one's solid ["Sabrosa"] styrofoamfuror: i made a tape out of the instrumentals on this record, Check Yr Head and Hello Nasty jaychampvinyl: hahaha wow jaychampvinyl: how about The Insound from way out? jaychampvinyl: that must have been your JAM styrofoamfuror: yeah, made while not realizing that there existed an import record called Insound.... styrofoamfuror: i lived in oneonta, ny styrofoamfuror: so there was no such thing jaychampvinyl: hahahah, right styrofoamfuror: i remember being really stoked when i finally found that record styrofoamfuror: but then bummed that there were only two bonus tracks styrofoamfuror: and the ones from hello nasty weren't on there styrofoamfuror: (cause that came out after)  jaychampvinyl: btw, kinda forgot that there was a song on this record called "Bodhisattva Vow" jaychampvinyl: the beginning of the end jaychampvinyl: visible only now jaychampvinyl: kinda like "Revolution No. 9" on the White Album jaychampvinyl: "uh oh" jaychampvinyl: SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES styrofoamfuror: christgau describes the instrumentals as "the unschooled funk of a prerap garage band" styrofoamfuror: this song always seemed like a bad acid trip (sorry, mom!) jaychampvinyl: yup jaychampvinyl: also: first terrible MCA lyrics about the world and stuff styrofoamfuror: it was a little too melodeath core jaychampvinyl: wayy too much so styrofoamfuror: except at 2:16 styrofoamfuror: when those beautiful sad piano chords come in jaychampvinyl: oooooh forgot about those jaychampvinyl: yes styrofoamfuror: they literally made the song ok to me jaychampvinyl: "I give respect to King and his nonviolent ways" jaychampvinyl: how benevolent of MCA to "give" respect to Martin Luther fucking King Jr. styrofoamfuror: this song, vocal-wise kind of epitomized ways i didn't like their vocals styrofoamfuror: oh dude styrofoamfuror: the intro to futterman's rule styrofoamfuror: Big Youth sample styrofoamfuror: but this is literally the first time i've known that styrofoamfuror: and it's fucking great jaychampvinyl: you are obsessive jaychampvinyl: btw jaychampvinyl: yes jaychampvinyl: these are really great jaychampvinyl: simple, amateurish, yeah, but somehow nail something jaychampvinyl: there's some vibe they nail here jaychampvinyl: they probably created it jaychampvinyl: like, this WORKS styrofoamfuror: oh man jaychampvinyl: and none of them can really play and none of them really know what the fuck theyr'e doing styrofoamfuror: this is my FAVE of the instrumentals actually jaychampvinyl: it shouldn't sound this good, logically, when they do this styrofoamfuror: THEY can't play but Eric Bobo can styrofoamfuror: as can Money Mark jaychampvinyl: right styrofoamfuror: i remember being really bummed that the Insound record didn't have this one on it styrofoamfuror: and feeling triumphant about my own self-collected tape jaychampvinyl: yes! jaychampvinyl: as you should jaychampvinyl: good old-fashioned questing nerd ingenuity styrofoamfuror: i definitely put this on as an interlude a few times jaychampvinyl: while fucking? jaychampvinyl: 'hold on, hold on, just stay there, I really want to play this song" jaychampvinyl: 'JUST HOLD ON!" styrofoamfuror: haaa styrofoamfuror: i meant on a mix styrofoamfuror: no fucking at this point in my life styrofoamfuror: i rememebr trying to scratch records on our record player styrofoamfuror: "BEN THIS ISN'T A DIRECT DRIVE TURNTABLE!!!" styrofoamfuror: my mom shouting in the background jaychampvinyl: hahahahaha jaychampvinyl: take a disco nap! jaychampvinyl: I am sure I did that once jaychampvinyl: just pulled the record back jaychampvinyl: and then freaked out when it made the WORST sound imaginable jaychampvinyl: this one sounds a little Soul Coughing-y styrofoamfuror: yeah, actually "Alright Hear This" is incredibly ala mid 90s Beck jaychampvinyl: yes styrofoamfuror: again, i don't know who is first jaychampvinyl: the cutting/scratching is a little more old-sounding to these ears styrofoamfuror: but it sounds literally indistinguishable save the lyrics jaychampvinyl: yes jaychampvinyl: it does styrofoamfuror: listen to "In a Cold Ass Fashion" styrofoamfuror: also from 1994 styrofoamfuror: http://whiskeyclonehotelcity1997layitontothedawnshecantalktosquirrels.net/ghost/songinfo.php?songID=147 styrofoamfuror: which is what he was originally going to call Odelay jaychampvinyl: Gettin' all caught up in a taste test / And it all basically tastes like crap styrofoamfuror: exactly styrofoamfuror: oh man styrofoamfuror: a great song jaychampvinyl: haaaaa @ the title "Eugene's Lament" jaychampvinyl: and also @ the song itself styrofoamfuror: hahah, yes styrofoamfuror: is that a violin? jaychampvinyl: this is retarded jaychampvinyl: yes styrofoamfuror: this also sounds Beck-ish jaychampvinyl: in a terrible sort of way styrofoamfuror: for some reason (reason: i am sloppy and not astute) as a kid i never heard the similarity styrofoamfuror: now i'm becoming increasingly convinced that half of this record is near-interchangeable with some less exciting understanding of mid 90s beck jaychampvinyl: hahaha yes jaychampvinyl: also, it is wearing on me a bit jaychampvinyl: pretty samey towards the end jaychampvinyl: this is more the unexciting gumbo I was expecting styrofoamfuror: so basically tracks 1-7 are more or less exhilarating styrofoamfuror: tracks 8-12 zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz jaychampvinyl: the back half is Starbucks turntablism styrofoamfuror: there is really not a ton of actual rapping on this record jaychampvinyl: this is turning into a slog for me styrofoamfuror: Do It styrofoamfuror: not exciting styrofoamfuror: is the result jaychampvinyl: I am starting to have uncharitable thoughts about 1997-era goateed hipsters jaychampvinyl: I am seeing them doing stupid dances in my head styrofoamfuror: apparently the single version of "Get It Together" did NOT have Qtip on it? jaychampvinyl: whoa, weird styrofoamfuror: i'm not sure how that song exists without him jaychampvinyl: me neither? jaychampvinyl: they must recut the whole song jaychampvinyl: yeah the back half is straight bong water-Sega Genesis music styrofoamfuror: yeh dude, i was right there styrofoamfuror: to put on between phish bootleg tapes styrofoamfuror: also: "Sure Shot" was one of the songs deemed inappropriate to play on radio after Sept 11 by Clear Channel styrofoamfuror: "Clear Channel Banned Songs" styrofoamfuror: thanks Mays family styrofoamfuror: you fucking scumbags styrofoamfuror: Sabotage was also banned styrofoamfuror: Louis Armstrong, "What a Wonderful World" jaychampvinyl: jesus fucking christ, those people jaychampvinyl: that list jaychampvinyl: is straight gestapo jaychampvinyl: (no huffpo) styrofoamfuror: Dave Matthews "Crash Into Me" styrofoamfuror: David Bowie and Mick Jagger "Dancing in the Street" (probably a good thing since it's fucking godawful) jaychampvinyl: "We are banning all 80s Rolling Stones, mostly befcause it sucks" jaychampvinyl: I love that this is "Ricky's Theme" jaychampvinyl: also: haaa styrofoamfuror: Heart Attack Man is better than Tough Guy styrofoamfuror: but existed as a novelty even as an unperformed idea jaychampvinyl: a little diddy about a good guy I know jaychampvinyl: Man, at this point, I'm just thinking about Paul's Boutique jaychampvinyl: and how good "Shadrach" would probalby sound at this point in the running time styrofoamfuror: i'm getting bumcore now styrofoamfuror: how the fuck could they have banned Cat Stevens "Peace Train" styrofoamfuror: fucking dicks styrofoamfuror: i have Mark Mays's cell phone number by the way styrofoamfuror: remind me to distribute on the internet at some point styrofoamfuror: (he's the CEO) jaychampvinyl: hahaha, yes styrofoamfuror: the only thing i can say favorably is that the company is doing terribly now styrofoamfuror: so they're getting theirs (sorta, not really) styrofoamfuror: "All songs by Rage Against the Machine" styrofoamfuror: Sugar Ray "Fly" jaychampvinyl: JESUSSSS styrofoamfuror: let's ban literally the most innocuous song ever written jaychampvinyl: but he wants to Fly jaychampvinyl: (A PLANE INTO THE PENTAGON) styrofoamfuror: what a fucking mental arbitrary list styrofoamfuror: Limp Bizkit "Break Stuff" styrofoamfuror: haha no more sorry jaychampvinyl: tjat jaychampvinyl: that's one I can get behind jaychampvinyl: Fred Durst incited mass rapes styrofoamfuror: oh man Shambala styrofoamfuror: we are listening the beastie boys styrofoamfuror: and this record has turned into muddled nonsense jaychampvinyl: jesus god jaychampvinyl: this is it jaychampvinyl: this is Revolution NO. 9 jaychampvinyl: I am so very ready for the Beastie Boys to finish Ill communicating with me styrofoamfuror: it's like they just put a record on 20 minutes ago and left the room jaychampvinyl: this is the song that presaged just how awful they were going to become jaychampvinyl: as people jaychampvinyl: and as people making music jaychampvinyl: not awful as people jaychampvinyl: just laughable jaychampvinyl: to me, this is some bono awfulness jaychampvinyl: if you're into Buddhism jaychampvinyl: don't aggrandize about it on your album jaychampvinyl: plz styrofoamfuror: this was literally pot consumption tunes jaychampvinyl: so, wow, turns out this album could have ended after "Get IT Together" styrofoamfuror: Bodhisattva Vow styrofoamfuror: fuckign terrible styrofoamfuror: this is unpleasant to listen to jaychampvinyl: "I'll be glad if it helps anyone else out, too" styrofoamfuror: i remember never liking this one jaychampvinyl: GAAAAAAAAH jaychampvinyl: this makes KRS-One look like a funny, laidback dude jaychampvinyl: I CAN'T BELIEVE ADAM YAUCH DID THIS styrofoamfuror: yeah styrofoamfuror: terrible jaychampvinyl: ok jaychampvinyl: deep breath jaychampvinyl: transitions jaychampvinyl: final track styrofoamfuror: Transitions isn't terrible jaychampvinyl: back into mediocre-funk territory jaychampvinyl: and it's pleasing styrofoamfuror: it's actually totally acceptable out of context styrofoamfuror: just not really in the context of having been subjected to 12 previous tracks of either lite-funk, bad buddhism or boring fuzz-rap jaychampvinyl: hahaha jaychampvinyl: exactly jaychampvinyl: well put jaychampvinyl: weird how quickly this turned for me jaychampvinyl: I was REALLY into this jaychampvinyl: for the first third jaychampvinyl: I can no loinger believe that "Sabotage" is on this album styrofoamfuror: "jaychampvinyl: IT'S SO FUCKING AWESOM E" jaychampvinyl: I KNOW styrofoamfuror: ok over styrofoamfuror: wow styrofoamfuror: shittown jaychampvinyl: hahaha styrofoamfuror: no wonder people talked shit on this album styrofoamfuror: at least Check Yr Head is like 35 mintues jaychampvinyl: THERE IT WAS, FOLKS- YOUR TRI-WEEKLY FUNDAY AFTERNOON MEMORY-RAPING BUZZKILL styrofoamfuror: hahahaha styrofoamfuror: yep The final verdict: things went down easier when I was a know-nothing teenager who smoked pot all day dreaming what it would be like to "have a girlfriend" or "leave upstate New York". Beastie Boys - "Sabotage" (I still fucking love you!) Labels: Jayson Greene In Spirit, memories, music, old flames, rap, re-appraisals posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 9/15/2009 07:57:00 PM 0 comments Tuesday, September 01, 2009 Hyper Bowling With Children jaychampionvinyl: ok, I am supposed to meet Stacy uptown at her mom's apt... JeffreyBeaumont: talk to grandma about your future children JeffreyBeaumont: Jeffrey Beaumont: no children, ever JeffreyBeaumont: 4 rzzzzzzzzzzz jaychampionvinyl: yeah whatever jaychampionvinyl: I am certain a statement you are making is retardo when it includes your name and the words "ever" or "never" jaychampionvinyl: I literally shut down my brain when you use them jaychampionvinyl: "Oh, he's just making noises" JeffreyBeaumont: god you are my golden leader JeffreyBeaumont: i need to suckle from your teet of wisdom JeffreyBeaumont: Jeffrey Beaumont: will ALWAYS believe everything Jay Greene tells him, forever. Labels: empty promises, IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 9/01/2009 06:00:00 PM 0 comments Wednesday, August 19, 2009 Sad But True: We Listened To Metallica For An Hour And Now You Have To Pay For It  Ok, so for re-appraisal number 3, Jayson and I sat down two Fridays ago to listen to the "classic" Metallica self-titled "Black Album" from 1991--a record known well to us both and one that at one point we each held dearly to our hearts. I say unequivocally: no longer. Dear god. Terrible. So. Terrible. What follows is a sad and REALLY LENGTHY transcription of our listening experience. I apologize for the length, so standard "read if bored / skip if not" disclaimer should be attached as always. Ok, then! ------------ jaychampionvinyl: ok, let's do this jaychampionvinyl: wow I am looking at the Metallica song titles as they unzip and realizing what I am in for JeffreyBeaumont: ok here we go jaychampionvinyl: okay, wow jaychampionvinyl: enter Sandman jaychampionvinyl: deep end jaychampionvinyl: we can do this jaychampionvinyl: nope jaychampionvinyl: wow jaychampionvinyl: wow jaychampionvinyl: wow JeffreyBeaumont: holy shit JeffreyBeaumont: wow jaychampionvinyl: nothing about this sounds even remotely cool jaychampionvinyl: like, it sounds like a parody of what my little cousin thinks his dad likes jaychampionvinyl: we're both COMPLETELY SPEECHLESS jaychampionvinyl: this album went diamond JeffreyBeaumont: i feel like this is a scene in South Park JeffreyBeaumont: where the kids are incredibly excited about something kids are supposed to be excited about JeffreyBeaumont: and then they experience it and it's just silence JeffreyBeaumont: Kyle goes, quietly, "Dude.... Dude. What the eff?" JeffreyBeaumont: and Cartman bellows, "Huh-ho!" jaychampionvinyl: hahahahahaha jaychampionvinyl: dead on JeffreyBeaumont: 'HUSH LITTLE BABY DON'T SAY A WORD" JeffreyBeaumont: Stan: "Who the fuck are these pedophiles???" jaychampionvinyl: dude, "Gripping your pillow tight" "It's just the beast under your bed, in your closet in your head" jaychampionvinyl: NO jaychampionvinyl: HOMO JeffreyBeaumont: i'm reviewing the track lengths of these songs JeffreyBeaumont: and realizing there's gonna be plenty of time for introspection here jaychampionvinyl: so far this is indescribably awful JeffreyBeaumont: this is lame in a way i'm convinced that guns n roses never were jaychampionvinyl: dude, you are totally 100 percent correct jaychampionvinyl: not even Motley Fucking Crue, in some cases, were this lame JeffreyBeaumont: it's still astonishing to me that as of this moment, this is the ONLY metallica record i've listened to more than twice jaychampionvinyl: hahaa yeah jaychampionvinyl: this will probably ruin everything else of theirs, including the stuff that I still think is any good JeffreyBeaumont: "Sad But True" jaychampionvinyl: Kid Rock jaychampionvinyl: is all I got as of this moment JeffreyBeaumont: listening to this is so strange JeffreyBeaumont: i got this record and nevermind within a week of each other in fall of 1991 and at some point a year or so later, 92 or 93, i remember thinking to myself, "Wow, they fucking load both of these records with hits in the beginning and the back ends are BORING" JeffreyBeaumont: metallica did videos for Sandman, Sad But True, Unforgiven, and Whereever I May Roam JeffreyBeaumont: 4 out of the first 5 tracks on this record, and same for Nevermind JeffreyBeaumont: But it's just hilarious thinking about this now, because those Nevermind singles are still great (though they're a little worn for me) and now i love the backend JeffreyBeaumont:however, so far these metallica "singles" sound fucking awful JeffreyBeaumont: and i am trembling with fear at the potential terribleness of the backend jaychampionvinyl: yeah...the secret here is: the back end is worse jaychampionvinyl: if it weren't for the weird guitar talkbox sounds, I'd be a little more ok with Holier Than Thou because it picsk up the pace a littel bit jaychampionvinyl: but then the lyrics start jaychampionvinyl: God JeffreyBeaumont: yeah it definitely sounded better in the beginning than the first two JeffreyBeaumont: but the vocals come in and then so does boring guitar JeffreyBeaumont: i wasn't expecting to fall in love with this record again but i'm shocked at a) how much i'm not enjoying it and b) how amazingly TAME it sounds JeffreyBeaumont: there is almost nothing "hard" about this shit to me jaychampionvinyl: YES AND YES jaychampionvinyl: it sounds so corny and harmless jaychampionvinyl: oh boy, The Unforgiven JeffreyBeaumont: ok jaychampionvinyl: I'm already happier JeffreyBeaumont: dude i'm diggin this so far JeffreyBeaumont: this intro is fucking great jaychampionvinyl: this at least sounds like a Queensryche song JeffreyBeaumont: Scorpions jaychampionvinyl: this song is, I think, probably still great jaychampionvinyl: we'll see JeffreyBeaumont: oh god, the verse jaychampionvinyl: BHGAQHAH jaychampionvinyl: Oh my god jaychampionvinyl: IT'S SO DECISIVE jaychampionvinyl: ok aaaaaaaand.....AWFUL! JeffreyBeaumont: still.....better than the rest jaychampionvinyl: the melody is good? JeffreyBeaumont: oh man jaychampionvinyl: wayyyy better jaychampionvinyl: I didn't realize what a cop of this song "Disarm" is JeffreyBeaumont: in 1991 they should have just been writing ballads, basically jaychampionvinyl: yeah, I actually still get chills with "so I dub thee unforgiven" jaychampionvinyl: that immediately curdle when the verse comes in jaychampionvinyl: Man, after you've cleaned this out of your ears jaychampionvinyl: I want you to listen to Master of Puppets and tell me what you hear JeffreyBeaumont: i got my first cd player for my ninth birthday, in summer 1991 JeffreyBeaumont: a boombox from my parents JeffreyBeaumont: for christmas my uncle tony came to town and i had him buy me this record and appetite for destruction jaychampionvinyl: haha JeffreyBeaumont: and we came back from the store and my parents were like !!!!!!!!!!!!!! jaychampionvinyl: hahahahaha JeffreyBeaumont: i'd had a tape of appetite i'd gotten from grandparents' next door neighbor's son freddie peguori JeffreyBeaumont: (now in jail for grand larceny) JeffreyBeaumont: but it got eaten in the car and i begged my parents to buy it for me and they wouldnt jaychampionvinyl: SITAR RIFF. this sucks JeffreyBeaumont: yes jaychampionvinyl: sucks very very hard JeffreyBeaumont: god this is fucking weak sauce JeffreyBeaumont: no wonder your brother hated this record jaychampionvinyl: oh man, with the force of a thousand suns jaychampionvinyl: I'm trying to think of somethign you hate as rabidly as my brother hated this album JeffreyBeaumont: natalie portman JeffreyBeaumont: the true beacon of hate jaychampionvinyl: go further jaychampionvinyl: think of the thing that makes you feel so sick and angry about humanity that you really don't think you can live anymore jaychampionvinyl: that's how my brother John felt about this album JeffreyBeaumont: wow JeffreyBeaumont: that is admittedly worse than natalie portman jaychampionvinyl: btw, did you know that my friend Ben Fl**** went on a double prom date with Natalie Portman? his friend took her. jaychampionvinyl: he said she was a stuck up, prim and obnoxious JeffreyBeaumont: dude, she is the worst person living not in metallica jaychampionvinyl: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaa jaychampionvinyl: that is the single greatest insult I've ever heard jaychampionvinyl: god every guitar solo sounds exactly the same! jaychampionvinyl: squeedly -SQUEEEEE, squeedly- WAHHHH WAHH WAHHHHH JeffreyBeaumont: i feel like writing her a letter: "Dear Natalie: Congratulations, I now realize that Lars Ulrich is the one person in the world worse than you." jaychampionvinyl: AHAHAHA JeffreyBeaumont: However...here's something i can't explain: I have an unnatural teddybear love for james hetfield JeffreyBeaumont: please explain to me why this is possible? JeffreyBeaumont: in my head i am not believing that ANY of the badness of this record is his fault JeffreyBeaumont: and i'm entirely blaming lars and kirk hammet JeffreyBeaumont: 100% JeffreyBeaumont: Is it because he looks kind of like Tom Waits?****** jaychampionvinyl: okay, that is six thousand steps too far jaychampionvinyl: he's like a scowling little cartoon bear jaychampionvinyl: And the truth is, James Hetfield is more or less responsible entirely for their shift JeffreyBeaumont: http://www.celebrityzine.net/files/images/james-hetfield.jpg jaychampionvinyl: and his vocals are so herniated and awful jaychampionvinyl: as to ruin everything even further JeffreyBeaumont: http://infinitestatemachine.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/james-hetfield.jpg JeffreyBeaumont: OH GOD JeffreyBeaumont: BEST YET JeffreyBeaumont: http://www.celebrityrockstarguitars.com/rock/images/isthatabanjo.jpg jaychampionvinyl: HAAAAAAAAAAAA JeffreyBeaumont: A FUCKING BANJO  jaychampionvinyl: wait jaychampionvinyl: wait jaychampionvinyl: wait jaychampionvinyl: wait JeffreyBeaumont: the intro jaychampionvinyl: play the intro jaychampionvinyl: YES jaychampionvinyl: AMERICA JeffreyBeaumont: Dont tread on me JeffreyBeaumont: HOIATJ'IORGANM',L;DF,L,;LSCA jaychampionvinyl: WEST SIDE STORY RIFF JeffreyBeaumont: ASDNSDANI;ASD;VNA JeffreyBeaumont: LSasASD'VNASDVFA JeffreyBeaumont: WEST SIDE STORY jaychampionvinyl: I have to play that again jaychampionvinyl: are you with me? JeffreyBeaumont: NO HOMO JeffreyBeaumont: YES jaychampionvinyl: we have to go back JeffreyBeaumont: LIKE TO THE LOST ISLAND JeffreyBeaumont: WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK jaychampionvinyl: how did no one comment on thjis!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!\GAY;WEAS LASDFL;KHADFS;KHLADHL jaychampionvinyl: GAYEST THING SERIOUSLY POSSIBLE jaychampionvinyl: oh my I'm seriously crying jaychampionvinyl: there are tears of laughter streaming down my face right now jaychampionvinyl: How do you solve a problem like.....SATAN?????????? JeffreyBeaumont: at this point in South Park JeffreyBeaumont: saddam hussein would come on the screen jaychampionvinyl: hahahahah JeffreyBeaumont: and metallica would pull their masks off JeffreyBeaumont: and they're all iraqis JeffreyBeaumont: except lars ulrich JeffreyBeaumont: who is osama bin laden jaychampionvinyl: oh my goddddddddd JeffreyBeaumont: and then you just hear one slow swearword bleep coming out of Stan's mouth JeffreyBeaumont: and kenny gets killed by a scimitar jaychampionvinyl: and James Heftfield comes out and plays the south park theme song on banjo JeffreyBeaumont: NOW i understand why parents didn't want their kids listening to this shit JeffreyBeaumont: they didn't want them to grow up tasteless and braindead jaychampionvinyl: I can't even imagine the fact that we might not have made it this far into the album to discover this moment jaychampionvinyl: who did it? JeffreyBeaumont: i have to believe it was lars's idea jaychampionvinyl: do you think that Kirk Hammett did it to amuse himself? and that no one else knew? jaychampionvinyl: "what's literally the gayest thing I could do to this shitty song?" JeffreyBeaumont: "in the future, who would ever illegally download our record if we throw in some West Side Story?" jaychampionvinyl: haaaaaaa JeffreyBeaumont: i will say--it doesn't at all help them that recording processes in 1990 were at close to the peak of their awfulness jaychampionvinyl: yes yes yes jaychampionvinyl: this was produced by Bob Rock jaychampionvinyl: nuff said JeffreyBeaumont: like the maximum point of studio production making ALL music sounding dead and lifeless jaychampionvinyl: every guitar needed to sound like it had sausage casings around it JeffreyBeaumont: god forbid anything get in the way of a slick electric guitar JeffreyBeaumont: so far the best things on this entire fucking record are the intros to Unforgiven, Wherever I May Roam and Nothing Else Matters jaychampionvinyl: they should have just become Kansas with this album JeffreyBeaumont: Nothing Else Matters sounds good JeffreyBeaumont: i'm telling you, they should have just madea record of ballads jaychampionvinyl: also: this was widely considered "the worst" song on this record, because it was a sissy ballad jaychampionvinyl: like, when people pointed to how bad Metallica had become, they pointed to THIS SONG jaychampionvinyl: and it's the ONLY PASSABLE SONG HERE JeffreyBeaumont: the bridge is straight late 70s Floyd jaychampionvinyl: yes!!!! perfect call jaychampionvinyl: it's really pretty! JeffreyBeaumont: sounds like something off the Wall JeffreyBeaumont: it still sounds very 1990 but in a way i'm completly fine with jaychampionvinyl: exactly JeffreyBeaumont: AllMusic: The best songs are more melodic and immediate, the crushing, stripped-down grooves of "Enter Sandman," "Sad but True," and "Wherever I May Roam"" JeffreyBeaumont: LIES JeffreyBeaumont: LIES JeffreyBeaumont: "crushing, stripped-down grooves"?!?! jaychampionvinyl: I want it to end there jaychampionvinyl: but go on it must JeffreyBeaumont: oh god jaychampionvinyl: "Of Wolf and Man" JeffreyBeaumont: "OF WOLF AND MAN" JeffreyBeaumont: this record could easily be subtitled "To Kill Your Fuck" JeffreyBeaumont: i want to watch a video right now of a couple enjoying having sex to this song jaychampionvinyl: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA jaychampionvinyl: yes jaychampionvinyl: me too! jaychampionvinyl: oh god jaychampionvinyl: I can already see it jaychampionvinyl: the guy, in particuarl, is very clear to me jaychampionvinyl: he's on top, pumping away jaychampionvinyl: every once in awhile he throw his head back to commune with the night sky jaychampionvinyl: "COME TO ME, MOTHER EARTH, FOR I AM FUCK" JeffreyBeaumont: she's either just laying there motionlessly or else REALLY excited about him and the guitars and the excitement he's getting from it all JeffreyBeaumont: "FUCK ME BIG BOY" jaychampionvinyl: I am seeing more the heavy lidded gaze off to the right JeffreyBeaumont: bass intro to God That Failed: Nirvana JeffreyBeaumont: according to wikipedia, this song deals "with Hetfield's mother's death from cancer and her Christian Science beliefs which kept her from seeking medical treatment." JeffreyBeaumont: also, Metallica is the first band ever to achieve five consecutive number one debuts. JeffreyBeaumont: also Bob Rock's real name is Bob Rock JeffreyBeaumont: how the fuck did ReLoad debut at #1 JeffreyBeaumont: i forgot it has a track called "Unforgiven II" JeffreyBeaumont: in my head i feel like if i listened to Load now it wouldn't seem that bad JeffreyBeaumont: that's probably wrong, right? jaychampionvinyl: oh god oh god jaychampionvinyl: you have no idea how bad that would sound JeffreyBeaumont: hahaaa jaychampionvinyl: we should do that next week JeffreyBeaumont: my friend misery jaychampionvinyl: yes JeffreyBeaumont: i think worse than anything are the guitars on this record JeffreyBeaumont: they are just fucking terrible jaychampionvinyl: haha yes JeffreyBeaumont: this is fucking awful JeffreyBeaumont: i am flabberghasted jaychampionvinyl: and endless!! jaychampionvinyl: and so monotonous! JeffreyBeaumont: nice bridge JeffreyBeaumont: not terrible JeffreyBeaumont: some actually interesting guitar JeffreyBeaumont: ungh JeffreyBeaumont: then stops JeffreyBeaumont: this arguably a worse and more joyless album than the Fiery Furnaces record Blueberry Boat jaychampionvinyl: we are in army recruiting video territory JeffreyBeaumont: christgau's review for this record:  jaychampionvinyl: haaa! jaychampionvinyl: one of the few times I am grateful for his glib little pseudo-reviews JeffreyBeaumont: ok. wow. JeffreyBeaumont: unceremoniously concluded JeffreyBeaumont: fucking terrible JeffreyBeaumont: bad bad bad JeffreyBeaumont: thanks for killing my fuck, guys. jaychampionvinyl: I feel brutalized jaychampionvinyl: and yes, I didn't even notice it had ended!!!! JeffreyBeaumont: i am now going to listen to a cover of Evan Dando doing "Fade to Black" jaychampionvinyl: WE'RE DONE LISTEN (IF YOU WANT SOME CONTEXT FOR THIS AWFULNESS): Metallica - "Unforgiven" from Metallica ("Black Album") Metallica - "Nothing Else Matters" from Metallica ("Black Album") Metallica - "Don't Tread On Me" from Metallica ("Black Album") Evan Dando - "Fade to Black" (Metallica cover) NOTES: [FYI, IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR YOU NEED A JOB BUT I WILL BUY YOU A BEER, WHOEVER YOU ARE] *** -- Oddly enough, Hetfield lists Tom Waits (and Leonard Cohen) as his favorite lyricists of all time... Labels: Dog And Pony Show, IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, mp3, music, re-appraisals posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 8/19/2009 03:39:00 AM 1 comments 1
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Tuesday, August 11, 2009 Would (You Hire Elton John To Replace Layne Staley)? JeffreyBeaumont: Did you know layne staley weighed 86 pounds when they found his body? JeffreyBeaumont: he was 6'1 JeffreyBeaumont: and apparently there is a new alice in chains album coming out in september JeffreyBeaumont: first since 1995 jaychampionvinyl: not only that: jaychampionvinyl: "Among the many highlights on Black Gives Way To Blue, the highly anticipated new album from ALICE IN CHAINS, is a special guest performance by Elton John. The two rock legends collaborated on the album's stunning title track, "Black Gives Way To Blue," a heart-stirring tribute to Alice In Chains' late lead singer Layne Staley. " JeffreyBeaumont: !!!! jaychampionvinyl: hahahahaha JeffreyBeaumont: that was a joke right? jaychampionvinyl: noooope. that is a press release I received just THIS morning jaychampionvinyl: ""We were thinking about adding piano to the track and a friend suggested we call Elton," recalls guitarist/vocalist Jerry Cantrell. "I remember laughing and saying, 'Yeah, I’ll get right on that.' But I decided it was worth trying and wrote Elton an email explaining what that song means to us--that it's a real, raw openhearted song for Layne. We sent him the track and got a call shortly after saying he thought it was beautiful and that he wanted to play on it. We were blown away. Elton John is a huge influence on me as a songwriter and having him on that song is an amazing honor for us."" JeffreyBeaumont: ..... JeffreyBeaumont: i'm not sure what that means JeffreyBeaumont: man, this screaming trees track on the singles soundtrack JeffreyBeaumont: so great JeffreyBeaumont: i'm happy mark lanegan has had some extended life the past 10 years jaychampionvinyl: hahaha jaychampionvinyl: you literally could not deal with the information I just gave you so you changed the subject Labels: 1990s, IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, music posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 8/11/2009 11:08:00 AM 0 comments Thursday, August 06, 2009 To Perch, Or To Terrorize: 'Tis The Standard Question IMPORTANT NOTE OF DEPARTURE: You may or may not be aware, but I have spent years unsuccessfully trying to get Jay Greene to sign on as a co-collaborator on this blog. Jayson Greene is not only an erudite, learned man, but a quick wit and a great writer. He is also often hilariously funny. Alas, each invite I've extended has been met with a decline because he's too Therefore, please give a hearty welcome to our friend, the great and wonderful....  jaychampionvinyl: haaa Robert Pollard titled a solo record "Standard Gargoyle Decisions" jaychampionvinyl: I love this man jaychampionvinyl: "Should I fly over the night sky and terrorize villagers, or just perch forbiddingly on these castle spires?" jaychampionvinyl: STANDARD GARGOYLE DECISIONS JeffreyBeaumont: standard gargoyle decisions makes me think of that afterschool cartoon that came out just as we were too old. Gargoyles jaychampionvinyl: it makes me think of really angsty gargoyles paralyzed by a surfeit of gargoyle options JeffreyBeaumont: ok, wow:  jaychampionvinyl: hahahaaa WHAT!? JeffreyBeaumont: that is one of the "Most Helpful Customer Reviews" on amazon for the record jaychampionvinyl: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa jaychampionvinyl: except that 0 of 16 people found it to be actually helpful jaychampionvinyl: which is amazing JeffreyBeaumont: HAHAHAH jaychampionvinyl: "I think he is tellling us to be creative with our minds. " jaychampionvinyl: YES JeffreyBeaumont: "beatles Reference, PEO-PLe! of a great album you have to hear if y9ou dont no aobut" jaychampionvinyl: YES HE IS jaychampionvinyl: BE CREATIVE WITH YOUR MIND Labels: fucktactics, GARGOYLES, IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 8/06/2009 04:27:00 PM 0 comments |
GET BEHIND ME DEAD MAN
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