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Thursday, January 28, 2010 VENOMOUS LOINS DEAL WITH IT jaychampionvinyl: your life is full JeffreyBeaumont: i am a fucking sadist JeffreyBeaumont: well a masochist anyway jaychampionvinyl: no jaychampionvinyl: you were right jaychampionvinyl: you love inflicting pain jaychampionvinyl: on humans jaychampionvinyl: and watching them writhe in agony JeffreyBeaumont: hahahahaha JeffreyBeaumont: with my tongue-twisting fake language jaychampionvinyl: yes jaychampionvinyl: your forked tongue and your venomous loins JeffreyBeaumont: FUCK YEAH VENOMOUS LOINS Labels: BEAUMONT, IMs, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/28/2010 04:10:00 PM 0 comments Monday, January 25, 2010 Is This The Kind Of Thing They Made Google Wave For? Cabbie: ben D is down for dinner tonight Cabbie: roasted chicken, kale/garlic salad Cabbie: he's going to get chicken, im going to grab kale/garlic Cabbie: any other thoughts on sides? JeffreyBeaumont: some kind of potato? Cabbie: haha i was just thinking that Cabbie: roasted potatoes? JeffreyBeaumont: yes BenD: ok change of plans YOU ARE BUYING THE CHICKEN BenD: i have good wine BenD: and i am providing the rice JeffreyBeaumont: Umm... JeffreyBeaumont: hey i will happily pay for the chicken JeffreyBeaumont: but am concerned about having time to buy it Cabbie: what is Ben D telling you? JeffreyBeaumont: can you grab and i'll give you dollarS? Cabbie: i dont want communication to get crosswired JeffreyBeaumont: BenD: ok change of plans YOU ARE BUYING THE CHICKEN JeffreyBeaumont: BenD: i have good wine JeffreyBeaumont: BenD: and i am providing the rice JeffreyBeaumont: hahaha Cabbie: what rice? Cabbie: nobody said anything about rice BenD: ok change of plans YOU ARE BUYING THE CHICKEN BenD: i have good wine BenD: and i am providing the rice BenD: ok no worries just come over BenD: this is a hilarious three way conversation Cabbie: hahahahahaha Cabbie: this is amazing JeffreyBeaumont: google, we need a "chatroom" function Labels: deprarious, fucktactics, IMs, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/25/2010 02:54:00 PM 2 comments 2
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Wednesday, January 20, 2010 Even The Aged Seek For Ways To Keep It Crunk JB-Boss: what time is our meeting with [NYC TECH COMPANY] and where JeffreyBeaumont: it's at 2:30 JeffreyBeaumont: but i'm still waiting to hear back on a location JeffreyBeaumont: will finalize tomorrow JB-Boss: crunk? JeffreyBeaumont: it's a phrase meaning many things depending on context JB-Boss: such as "keep it crunk" lock down the date? JeffreyBeaumont: haha JeffreyBeaumont: not exactly JeffreyBeaumont: crunk is more like "happening" "awesome" "crazy" keep it crunk is like "keep it exciting" JeffreyBeaumont: which would probably mean actually waiting til the last minute to lock down the date JB-Boss: got it -- used in context for securing a baptism date where I'm going to be the godfather. Requesrted that I wear a floor-lenghth white sequin cape like Teddy Pendergrass Live at the Sahara Labels: curiosities, IMs, lolgore, OLD PEOPLE MAKE IT HARD NOT TO SIGH SOMETIMES, words posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/20/2010 04:41:00 PM 0 comments Concord Surprise JeffreyBeaumont: what if you woke up and your eyeballs had been turned into grapes, but you could still see out of them JeffreyBeaumont: what would your reaction be? SheHateMe: are they as fragile as grapes? SheHateMe: do they still have pupils? SheHateMe: would I still need to put in contacts, or do the grapes give me 20/20 vision JeffreyBeaumont: you can't wear contacts anymore JeffreyBeaumont: you have to wear glasses JeffreyBeaumont: but your vision quality is the same JeffreyBeaumont: they are just barely stronger than regular grapes SheHateMe: wait, are we talking purple or white grapes JeffreyBeaumont: except they won't mold JeffreyBeaumont: concord SheHateMe: ew SheHateMe: do they have the dusty stuff on them? JeffreyBeaumont: no SheHateMe: ok, well SheHateMe: given your answers SheHateMe: my reaction would be negative Labels: curiosities, IMs, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/20/2010 03:33:00 PM 0 comments Tuesday, January 05, 2010 A Strange Kind Of Luck JeffreyBeaumont: i'm still kinda morning groggy JeffreyBeaumont: i woke up at 9:35 and was like, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK JeffreyBeaumont: (we have a staff meeting at 9:45) Cabbie: hahahah oh no JeffreyBeaumont: i emailed my boss that i'd be way late and got here at JeffreyBeaumont: but somehow he was also way late and hadn't even gotten in yet JeffreyBeaumont: !! JeffreyBeaumont: so lucky luckness for me Cabbie: hahahahahah Cabbie: you are lucky to have a boss whose incompetence outpaces your bad luck and tendency toward outrageous disaster Labels: fucktactics, IMs, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 1/05/2010 01:37:00 PM 0 comments Friday, December 25, 2009 It's 2009, Friends: Burying The Lede Edition This is kinda long, but that's sorta the point (stick with it til the end, please)... 5:07pm FriendZ: i presume before too long google will let you forward your voice number to gchat or something like that FriendX: Just one more step on their way to taking over the world. FriendZ: of course so few people actually call me... FriendX: haha me too. 5:17 PM FriendZ: how much snow did you guys get in DC? FriendX: 15" so far, it's pretty crazy. FriendZ: wow! FriendX: At one point it snowed 3 inches in an hour before. FriendZ: when was the last time that there was that much snow? FriendX: Are you in Boston now? FriendZ: yeah FriendX: Getting any there? FriendZ: we are supposed to get 12 or so tonight and tomorrow FriendX: We've never had this much snow as long as I've been here. FriendX: A few years ago we had a huge storm and some places got like 20" near here, but we got like 6" FriendZ: well i'm sure everything is closed down FriendX: It was so weird, like we had a little snow blocking bubble over us :( FriendZ: what are you doing for xmas? FriendX: Visiting Buffalo for a few days with GirlFriendX then heading home on the 24th-27th FriendZ: ah ok FriendX: What you doin? FriendZ: we're going to GirlfriendZ's parents and then Portland 5:21pm FriendX: Going to get some skiing in out there? FriendZ: not sure about skiing FriendX: Mt. Hood has gotten like 150" this year. FriendZ: wow FriendZ: actually...we have some exciting news FriendZ: GirlfriendZ is pregnant :) FriendX: 173" actually FriendZ: so no skiing for her Labels: deprarious, fucktactics, IMs, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 12/25/2009 12:37:00 AM 0 comments Friday, December 11, 2009 Cakes N' Stuff Cabbie: i love slang editorial JeffreyBeaumont: haa what makes you say that? Cabbie: i just like it a lot Cabbie: i like that you actually write about stuff Cabbie: rather than just post tons of photos Cabbie: and that its all kinds of stuff Cabbie: cakes to biking to news to politics JeffreyBeaumont:that should be my new tagline JeffreyBeaumont: "Slang Editorial: From cakes to biking to news to politics" Cabbie: all the most important things in life Cabbie: <3<3 Labels: IMs posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 12/11/2009 11:18:00 AM 2 comments 2
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Friday, December 04, 2009 REBLOG: Symbologists I don't typically do straight reblogs but sometimes KJ just makes me lose my shit. This piece of amazingness comes from her great blog Debauched Sloth and I recommend highly that you all check it out and add to your Google Reader as soon as you are able if you haven't yet. Sent to you by Jeffrey via Google Reader: Und so weiter... JeffreyBeaumont: that's amazing KJ: She Hate Me and i decided all your children will be born with mathematical symbol tattoos ShrimpCracker: can they find photos of babies ShrimpCracker: and photoshop symbols onto them ShrimpCracker: and make a fake Jeffrey Beaumont Xmas card ShrimpCracker: hahahhaha JeffreyBeaumont: i will have to inquire about that ShrimpCracker: its amazing just thinking about it Labels: art, BEAUMONT, Beaumont Nerderati, case studies, curiosities, IMs, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 12/04/2009 05:37:00 PM 1 comments 1
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Tuesday, November 24, 2009 DORKCLIMBERS JeffreyBeaumont: jayson greene used the word "horkheimered" in his review of the latest gift of gab record for pitchfork SheHateMe: holy shit! SheHateMe: what's the sentence? JeffreyBeaumont: "He gets in his own way time and again here; on 'Dreamin', he flounders over a stuttering, malfunctioning-robot delivery while both Del Tha Funkee Homosapien and Brother Ali lap him easily by trying half as hard. Worse, once you extricate his words from the horkheimered contraptions he has ensnared them in, you are usually left with lines limper than day-old pasta." JeffreyBeaumont: but seriously JeffreyBeaumont: is horkheimered a word? jaychampionvinyl: hahahahahahahahah jaychampionvinyl: nah JeffreyBeaumont: really? jaychampionvinyl: I have sometimes seen it used to describe needlessly convoluted structures jaychampionvinyl: like, once jaychampionvinyl: hahaha jaychampionvinyl: I googled it today after we had that exchange and now can't find anything jaychampionvinyl: I don't THINK I am capable of seriously just inventing that level of neologism jaychampionvinyl: but I don't know how or where I came across it jaychampionvinyl: what's more, TWO editors at Pfork edited this review and neither of them seemed to have the slightest bit of a problem of "horkheimer" jaychampionvinyl: which is amazing in its own right JeffreyBeaumont: hahhahah JeffreyBeaumont: fucking dicks jaychampionvinyl: HORKHEIMER JeffreyBeaumont: PORKSLIMER jaychampionvinyl: DORK CLIMBER jaychampionvinyl: hahahahahahah jaychampionvinyl: FORK DINER jaychampionvinyl: CORK BLINDER JeffreyBeaumont: STORK WHINER jaychampionvinyl: TORQUE MINDER SheHateMe: wow SheHateMe: this word will be jayson's legacy Labels: curiosities, IMs, lolgore, words posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 11/24/2009 01:31:00 PM 0 comments Monday, November 23, 2009 Jingo Bingo, Best Rest, Grandma QTip, Nana Mandindo, A Tribe Called Quest JeffreyBeaumont: i'm having a few people over tonight to play scrabble and drink hot toddys jaychampionvinyl: haha of course you are jaychampionvinyl: just like my Nana JeffreyBeaumont: "Best Grandma Alive" JeffreyBeaumont: "when she play scrabble she only go bingo / dominate her foes til they go jingo / for her, that is: queen above the rest / Nana on top, the motherfucking best" jaychampionvinyl: who is that? JeffreyBeaumont: umm JeffreyBeaumont: i just made that up JeffreyBeaumont: as an ode to your fucking Nana jaychampionvinyl: hahahahahahaha jaychampionvinyl: oh JeffreyBeaumont: you are supposed to say, "Wow, that was quite clever" jaychampionvinyl: I thought it was weird Q-Tip line I didn't know! jaychampionvinyl: how's that for a compliment?? Labels: family, IMs, lolgore, quickthoughts, rap posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 11/23/2009 02:45:00 PM 0 comments Tuesday, November 17, 2009 My Exquisite Replica Of Eternity Cabbie: i just looked at slang editorial Cabbie: and saw your office space Cabbie: for the first time ever JeffreyBeaumont: haa Cabbie: and its weird to be like 'oh here is this place ben spends a LOT of his time that i know nothing about and have never even visualized' JeffreyBeaumont: that is a really interesting thought Cabbie: when you are talking to me from work you are just in this nothingingess of space Cabbie: a voice speaking from the abyss of my imagination, you know what i mean Cabbie: so to see it Cabbie: hah Cabbie: woah Labels: cubelife, curiosities, IMs posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 11/17/2009 01:41:00 AM 1 comments 1
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Monday, November 09, 2009 Ball Ache Etc. JeffreyBeaumont: i just got a work email from a client with the line, "Is filming the lunch out of the question, or just logistically a ball ache?" jaychampionvinyl: LOGISTICALLY A BALL ACHE jaychampionvinyl: you are winning life Labels: IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 11/09/2009 05:16:00 PM 0 comments Thursday, November 05, 2009 Happy Wing Day, Jayson Today is Jayson Greene's birthday. God, I love that man. For every reason i've ever stated, and more. jaychampionvinyl: hey hey hey jaychampionvinyl: question jaychampionvinyl: tonight JeffreyBeaumont: yes jaychampionvinyl: I am thinking we get hot wings jaychampionvinyl: at this establishmentL jaychampionvinyl: http://www.bbqincrvc.com/Croxley/Manhattan_Main_Page.html jaychampionvinyl: here is a close -up pic of the wings at this establishment: jaychampionvinyl: http://pennypalate.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/wings.jpg JeffreyBeaumont: hahahahaha dude JeffreyBeaumont: you are amazing Labels: IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 11/05/2009 02:04:00 PM 1 comments 1
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Monday, November 02, 2009 Sleep Surfers KB: so i am gonna have my first couch surfer on thursday and friday night. JeffreyBeaumont: haaa the first one JeffreyBeaumont: wow JeffreyBeaumont: that's awesome KB: yep KB: i mean, the first full on random dude in my house that i dont plan on sleeping with KB: that i met on the internet, no less posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 11/02/2009 04:22:00 PM 2 comments 2
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Friday, October 30, 2009 Clearly, There Is Much I Do Not Know SigSauer: dude, judith light is on both ugly betty and law and order svu and she is awesome posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/30/2009 08:20:00 PM 0 comments Thursday, October 29, 2009 The Two Jayoots  Weird IM chat list yesterday with two Jayson Greenes JeffreyBeaumont: there are no longer two jayson greenes on my chat list JeffreyBeaumont: just you JeffreyBeaumont: i met the "other" jayson greene last night JeffreyBeaumont: she was alarmed that her identity had been usurped jaychampionvinyl: haahahaa! jaychampionvinyl: but you assured her that her identity had been stolen by someone highly reputable? JeffreyBeaumont: of course JeffreyBeaumont: to the point of confusing her JeffreyBeaumont: you are now showing up as lindsay JeffreyBeaumont: and not jayson greene JeffreyBeaumont: congratulations Lindsay: oh goodie Lindsay: i can't stop having my crisis of identity now! Lindsay: *can JeffreyBeaumont: hahaha JeffreyBeaumont: i like the fact that your response was accidently not very assured Lindsay: clearly i am still in crisis over here Lindsay: this jason character has really messed with my head JeffreyBeaumont: YEZZZIR JeffreyBeaumont: BYE jaychampionvinyl: hahahaha Labels: curiosities, IMs, lolgore, YEZZIR posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/29/2009 11:38:00 AM 0 comments Wednesday, October 28, 2009 Bossing Memory  So last night Doorknobs, Jayson, and I were having a conversation about how Judith Light is a human that no one should ever remember, and that it was crazy we were even able to talk about her. And then now today: ElDram: my friend wants me to be judith light ElDram: which is fine except its like frump city and i cant really feel attractive wearing a onesie pants suit ElDram: so i was thinking jane fonda circa 80s workout tapes jaychampionvinyl: no jaychampionvinyl: NO jaychampionvinyl: how jaychampionvinyl: is' jaychampionvinyl: that jaychampionvinyl: possible hotdoorknobs: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hotdoorknobs: W hotdoorknobs: T hotdoorknobs: F hotdoorknobs: JUDITH FUCKING LIGHT hotdoorknobs: that is seriously cosmic Sometimes these things just seem crazy. Labels: curiosities, IMs, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/28/2009 04:53:00 PM 0 comments Thursday, October 22, 2009 Pyrex Linx NobleNerd: Have you been listening to OBFCL2? JeffreyBeaumont: not enough yet JeffreyBeaumont: i bought from amazon for $5 JeffreyBeaumont: i like it a lot so far NobleNerd: what are they talking about when they say Pyrex? JeffreyBeaumont: i'm not sure where you're referencing JeffreyBeaumont: but typically that's a reference to drug-making JeffreyBeaumont: crack or meth NobleNerd: okay NobleNerd: they seem to use it in a few different contexts JeffreyBeaumont: or crack pipes JeffreyBeaumont: thats actually prob most common NobleNerd: ok, that makes sense JeffreyBeaumont: this may sound hilarious, but jayson greene probably has even more knowledge about the history of pyrex and crack-pipe referencing in rap songs NobleNerd: yeah, he is not currently available NobleNerd: not to offend, but you were my second JeffreyBeaumont: hahah JeffreyBeaumont: i would assume it's crack pipes posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/22/2009 12:59:00 PM 0 comments Tuesday, October 20, 2009 Another Girl, Another Planet EAGross: ugh EAGross: why is the radio obsessed with aaron copland right now? EAGross: i fuckin hate that dude JeffreyBeaumont: hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaaahhahahaah JeffreyBeaumont: I'm fascinated to learn more about the planet that you live on posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/20/2009 11:07:00 PM 1 comments 1
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Wen You Might Have Seen A Ghost / I'm Glad I'm Not The Inventor Of The Internet jaychampionvinyl: I don't understand this jaychampionvinyl: haha JeffreyBeaumont: a small asian girl has been leaving me notes JeffreyBeaumont: I do not understand what they mean JeffreyBeaumont: or why they were written for me jaychampionvinyl: you literally found these notes? jaychampionvinyl: how do you know she is a small Asian girl? JeffreyBeaumont: i saw her in the corner of my eye jaychampionvinyl: what!?!?!?!?!?! jaychampionvinyl: she's in your office?? JeffreyBeaumont: yes jaychampionvinyl: umm... jaychampionvinyl: is she real? JeffreyBeaumont: i did not write those notes myself JeffreyBeaumont: though using the name "Wen" and offering no photo would certainly be tough evidence in favor of me being an insane person jaychampionvinyl: well jaychampionvinyl: she kinda sounds like either a ghost or a creepy/terrifying hallucination ----------------- Sanam: this is amazing Sanam: also, you are intensely prolificJeffreyBeaumont: ADHD JeffreyBeaumont: to the megafucking max JeffreyBeaumont: "the persistent and pervasive effects of ADHD symptoms can insidiously and severely interfere with one's ability to get the most out of education and fulfill one's potential in the workplace" Sanam: "but the internet is forever grateful" JeffreyBeaumont: i was born in advance of the internet so that when it launched i would able to help it hit the ground running Sanam: that is a huge amount of foresight on the part of your parents JeffreyBeaumont: well, they did vote for al gore after all JeffreyBeaumont: inventor of the Internet and foreseerer of geoclimactic devastation Sanam: what a terrible fate Sanam: to be a sage shaman-type figure, but not charismatic enough for anyone to pay any attention Sanam: like if jesus came back to earth, but he was a mannequin in a macy's window JeffreyBeaumont: wow. that is amazing. Labels: IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/20/2009 06:15:00 PM 0 comments YEZZIR: Inky Edition JeffreyBeaumont: just out of curiousity what would you think if i got "PAINS 4EVER" tattooed on my arms? hotdorknobs: i would lick it until the wound healed YEZZIR. posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/20/2009 05:25:00 PM 0 comments Monday, October 19, 2009 Looking Back And Whatnot  For those of you who ever wondered.... JeffreyBeaumont: why the fuck did kanye give all those beats to common JeffreyBeaumont:at the time it seemed cool but not crazy JeffreyBeaumont:but given kanye's ascension since then it seems pretty nuts jaychampionvinyl: because Common 1) is also from Chicago, 2) used to be legitimately awesome, 3) was friends with the producer who mentored Kanye (No ID), and pre-love fuzzy vibes makeover, was exactly the kind of thoughtful, reflective, yet still boastful and funny sort of rapper Kanye wanted to be JeffreyBeaumont:haa POW jaychampionvinyl: it only seems like a crazy/terrible idea in retrospect, now that he has become rap's Sting JeffreyBeaumont: dum dah-duh Labels: case studies, IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, quickthoughts, rap posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/19/2009 03:45:00 PM 0 comments Modern Life anonyfriend: So, Dude i'm seeing was mistakenly convinced i had an std all week JeffreyBeaumont: !!! anonyfriend: hahaha anonyfriend: because he said "just so you know, i don't have anything" anonyfriend: and i thought he meant condoms anonyfriend: and i was like, "oh, i do" anonyfriend: hahahaha anonyfriend: and then like three days later, he was like, "can we talk about what it is that you have?" anonyfriend: hahahahahaha JeffreyBeaumont: is it all sorted out now? anonyfriend: yes anonyfriend: i was like, "wait, what do you mean what i have?" anonyfriend: and he was like, "when i said i didn't have anything, you said you did" anonyfriend: and i said, "right, like condoms" anonyfriend: and he was like, "wait, you mean you're CLEAN!?" JeffreyBeaumont: but he still boned you anyway thinking you had an STD? anonyfriend: no no anonyfriend: we didn't bone until after this conversation anonyfriend: which made things extra confusing at the time, because i was like, why is he telling me he has no condoms when we aren't even doing it? anonyfriend: but also, i love the fact that after i cheerily said something that led him to believe i had an std, he waited three days to bring it up again JeffreyBeaumont: hahaha anonyfriend: ah, modern life Labels: fucktactics, IMs, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/19/2009 12:14:00 PM 0 comments More Mendering  jaychampionvinyl: hahahaha I love this thing about Joanna N. on Slang JeffreyBeaumont: oh thanks jaychampionvinyl: "POETASTER" jaychampionvinyl: dude, on one song on Ys, she goes on about "hydroenchephalitic peonies" (sp?) JeffreyBeaumont: durrrr........ jaychampionvinyl: I read this profile where the interviewer teases her about her use of big words and uses that as an example jaychampionvinyl: and she's like, "that's the only word I could think of" jaychampionvinyl: HAHAH Also: --Click here for the 2006 Arthur magazine profile I referenced in last post. --And I wrote about Joanna a bit on Slang back in 2006 here (scroll below essay on familial understanding) and listen to "Sawdust and Diamonds" from her sophomore outing. Labels: crushes, IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, Joanna Newsom I Love You. posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/19/2009 10:45:00 AM 1 comments 1
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Friday, October 16, 2009 This Is What Happens When You Are Trapped On A Chinatown Bus For Too Long  There is also a braid in my hair now. My uncle wrote Lil Beau and I an email today letting us know he'd pick us up from Boston. Love that man: "It is my understanding that you folks are taking the bus (Chinese bus way too fast!) up from NYC. Just in case the bus driver is driving too fast I took the liberty to look up the Chinese translation for slow down. It is 'chi huan xiang xia' so please feel free to yell it at the bus driver if you feel the need. If by chance I got the translation wrong then I'm sure you will know immediately by the drivers reaction........" When I texted him 15 min ago to say there'd be an accident on the road and we were delayed by an hour-plus, he wrote back: "No worries..sorry I didn't translate "go faster!'" Labels: fucktactics, IMs, lolgore, REAL LIFE IMs posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/16/2009 10:00:00 PM 0 comments Thursday, October 15, 2009 Furry Futures  hotdorknobs: let's talk beards in a min posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/15/2009 05:04:00 PM 0 comments Procrasturbation Sanam: word birth! Sanam: procrasturbation Sanam: "to waste time pleasuring one's self" Sanam: I didn't make it up Sanam: but I will be spreading it like wildfire That it will, yes, that it will. Labels: deprarious, IMs, quickthoughts, SP, words posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/15/2009 03:41:00 PM 0 comments I Have A Wet And Slippery Understanding Of What To Make Of This  JeffreyBeaumont: not really sure what the hell to make of this. BeaumontBoss: MSNBC is Living on a Prayer JeffreyBeaumont: HAAAAA! JeffreyBeaumont: BA-ZING BeaumontBoss: Bon Jovi to Rachel Maddow: "these five words are true: "I'll be there for you..." Labels: fucktactics, IMs, lolgore, OLD PEOPLE MAKE IT HARD NOT TO SIGH SOMETIMES posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/15/2009 02:38:00 PM 0 comments Tuesday, October 13, 2009 Father's Milk  Sanam: dude Sanam: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=47119 Sanam: you may not be able to carry a child, but apparently, you can breast feed. JeffreyBeaumont: !!!!!!!!!!!!!! JeffreyBeaumont: ummmmmm JeffreyBeaumont: "I'm going to have to pull out the pump during lectures," he told The Local. "But really it doesn't bother me if it makes people uncomfortable. If they have issues with it that's their problem." JeffreyBeaumont: also, there are four consecutive hilarious comments by someone named "Jamie1977" JeffreyBeaumont: "Act like a man you if you were my son I'd take you into the back garden and give you a few slaps, although no doubt being some effeminate swede you would back down and cry or run away instead of being a man" Sanam: that is amazing Sanam: "What happened to the race of men that were once hard bastard Vikings ???" Sanam: she makes a good point Sanam: I've often wished that more men in my life would act like vikings Sanam: or specifically, dress like vikings JeffreyBeaumont: hahahahahah. JeffreyBeaumont: i don't even understand this, other than that he's not so keen on "japs": JeffreyBeaumont: "Probaly the same as those idiot Japs, for some strange and bizarre reason Japanese men are wearing bra's god only knows why but when I think of Japs I think of hard warriors, Samurai, good machines, Honda, suzuki and good techological know how and hard souless trading techniques that made Japanese Buisneses the way it is !!!!" JeffreyBeaumont: the fact that there are four lengthy and somewhat disconnected comments spaced 5 minutes apart too adds to the whole, "yep" factor Sanam: I like the one addressed specifically to the guy Sanam: "hey dude," Sanam: also important to point out: this guy is reading the SF Gate, which is the most liberal, pansy ass newspaper in the world JeffreyBeaumont: he feels like he's gotta speak four times to make up for the dearth of Real CountryMen Sanam: seriously Sanam: I can dig it, though Sanam: when I went down south Sanam: I suddenly felt very protective of my country Sanam: and also very suspicious of liberal yankee fucks Sanam: like evan and joe Sanam: if one of them had started breastfeeding, I probably would've punched them in the face Sanam: it's all about context ALSO: JeffreyBeaumont: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/detail?entry_id=47119 jaychampvinyl: hahahahaah holy shit jaychampvinyl: he's just pumping away jaychampvinyl: waiting for milk jaychampvinyl: that's horrible jaychampvinyl: where the fuck does he think it's going to come from?? Labels: curiosities, fucktactics, IMs, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/13/2009 05:42:00 PM 0 comments Monday, September 28, 2009 Rest In Peace: Platinum Respect Edition  JeffreyBeaumont: Umm, holla JeffreyBeaumont: http://www.emusic.com/artist/Big-L-MP3-Download/11754989.html Jayson: HOLY FUCK Jayson: I did NOT know we had this Jayson: I am making this a Staff Pick, RIGHT FUCKING NOW Jayson: such a classic JeffreyBeaumont: a "classic" that's actually a classic JeffreyBeaumont: plus it has the benefit of featuring a pipsqueak jay-z and camron! Jayson: yes! Jayson: rhyming like the guy from Naughty By Nature (jay, that is) Jayson: he sounds hilariously young and not at all imposing Jayson: or charismatic in the slightest JeffreyBeaumont: hence pipsqueak JeffreyBeaumont: he sounds like a lil dude PSYCHED to be someone's record Jayson: haha yes Jayson: he sounds like MEMPHIS BLEEK JeffreyBeaumont: from AllMusicGuide review: "With better production and marketing, Big L might have found himself with a platinum album but instead he settled for platinum respect" JeffreyBeaumont: how about, "he settled for relative obscurity before being gunned down?" Jayson: hahahaha Jayson: god, Platinum Respect needs to be the name of a Koch rapper's next album Jayson: That can be a new Joe Budden lyric Jayson: "Yeah records aint sold, but the checks? Still cashin em/Albums ain't gone gold, but MY RESPECT IS PLATINUM" Jayson: <-----Joe Budden(s)'s new ghostwriter LISTEN: Big L - "Da Graveyard (featuring Jay-Z and Cam'ron)", from Lifestylez Ov Da Poor & Dangerous Big L - "Put It On", from Lifestylez Ov Da Poor & Dangerous Labels: IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, lolgore, mp3, music, rap posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 9/28/2009 05:41:00 PM 0 comments Friday, September 25, 2009 Priorities, Etc. JeffreyBeaumont: we shall rage against the machine Sanam'sSlaves: FUCK YEA Sanam'sSlaves: fuck the world Sanam'sSlaves: brb, meeting posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 9/25/2009 12:09:00 PM 0 comments Let's Try This Again ChosenPeople: what does your schedule look like in the coming week? JeffreyBeaumont: hmm JeffreyBeaumont: think i am free on either wed or thurs ChosenPeople: can u pencil me in for wed? JeffreyBeaumont: oh but hmm...yes though i am waiting to find out if i have a dodgeball game on wed JeffreyBeaumont: they haven't released the schedule yet ChosenPeople: yeah ChosenPeople: wait i forgot im going to a lecture on wed ChosenPeople: so thurs is ok? JeffreyBeaumont: wait JeffreyBeaumont: haa no, shit forgot i have plans. ChosenPeople: i just remembered im going to DC on Thursday ChosenPeople: so i just realized that im booked everyday through the next week ChosenPeople: what about the following week? JeffreyBeaumont: this is an amazing conversation Labels: fucktactics, IMs, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 9/25/2009 11:08:00 AM 0 comments Tuesday, September 01, 2009 Hyper Bowling With Children jaychampionvinyl: ok, I am supposed to meet Stacy uptown at her mom's apt... JeffreyBeaumont: talk to grandma about your future children JeffreyBeaumont: Jeffrey Beaumont: no children, ever JeffreyBeaumont: 4 rzzzzzzzzzzz jaychampionvinyl: yeah whatever jaychampionvinyl: I am certain a statement you are making is retardo when it includes your name and the words "ever" or "never" jaychampionvinyl: I literally shut down my brain when you use them jaychampionvinyl: "Oh, he's just making noises" JeffreyBeaumont: god you are my golden leader JeffreyBeaumont: i need to suckle from your teet of wisdom JeffreyBeaumont: Jeffrey Beaumont: will ALWAYS believe everything Jay Greene tells him, forever. Labels: empty promises, IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, lolgore posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 9/01/2009 06:00:00 PM 0 comments Friday, August 28, 2009 Fuck The Police? Sanam: "reading is the tool of the devil" JeffreyBeaumont: DON'T READ BOOKS JeffreyBeaumont: BAD FOR SOUL Sanam: GOOD FOR SAFETY Sanam: have you seen this new lil wayne video? Sanam: about him fucking a cop? JeffreyBeaumont: ................. JeffreyBeaumont: ummmmmmmm JeffreyBeaumont: no JeffreyBeaumont: what it called? Sanam: um Sanam: mrs. officer Sanam: it's kind of awesome Sanam: "she know I'm from the street" Sanam: "but all she wants me to do is fuck tha police" JeffreyBeaumont: i know the song JeffreyBeaumont: it's a pretty not awesome song compared to rest of carter III JeffreyBeaumont: but geez JeffreyBeaumont: i need to find the video Sanam: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPb1JtslNpg JeffreyBeaumont: good lord, you are good to me Sanam: I do what I can JeffreyBeaumont: i need a good misogynistic lil wayne video right now Sanam: when 'a milli' came out Sanam: I spent a good few months trying to find that hat Sanam: the "don't tread on me" cap he wears in both videos JeffreyBeaumont: oh man, yes Sanam: because, obviously, it's the greatest hat on earth Sanam: it is sooo nowhere to be found Sanam: t-shirts: yes Sanam: hats: no Sanam: I ask you to keep your eyes peeled Sanam: next time you're in either an urban sneaker shop Sanam: or a suburban mega mall Sanam: because I feel like that's where it'll pop up JeffreyBeaumont: my eyes eyes are so peeled the lids are pinned to my forehead Sanam: haha gross Sanam: but much appreciated Labels: IMs, Lil Wayne, lolgore, music, rap, videos posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 8/28/2009 04:34:00 PM 0 comments Extra Wicked Games EK: new blog EK: http://carillonbelltower.tumblr.com/ JeffreyBeaumont: i like that name a lot JeffreyBeaumont: where'd you get it from? EK: its how they discovered the first music box EK: it was the sound this tower made JeffreyBeaumont: really??? EK: yeah JeffreyBeaumont: i could listen to wicked game*** 10000x times EK: haha EK: yeah i did when i was 13 EK: i swore i would lose my virginity to that song EK: i was such a dork JeffreyBeaumont: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa JeffreyBeaumont: wow JeffreyBeaumont: that is so awesome JeffreyBeaumont: can i put that on the internet? EK: yes ***Sidenote: i used to know Helena Christensen through my old job and still remember the day she told me she loved my hat. Labels: IMs, lolgore, music, old flames, videos posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 8/28/2009 03:13:00 PM 0 comments In The Court Of The Wrestling Let's ShrimpCracker: man, Let's Wrestle! ShrimpCracker: "The duvet's on fire & so is your hair." ShrimpCracker: "But baby that's just the way it is" ShrimpCracker: i got that EP yesterday ShrimpCracker: i think i'm falling for these kids JeffreyBeaumont: dude, YES ShrimpCracker: also, that line about making a list of all television shows you missed ShrimpCracker: reminds of something you'd do + bittorrenting ShrimpCracker: hahahaha JeffreyBeaumont: hahahahahahaah ShrimpCracker: just tell me EVERY show you've missed ShrimpCracker: and i'll DL them for you + we'll watch every single one Click here for more on Let's Wrestle (including mp3) posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 8/28/2009 02:11:00 PM 0 comments Wednesday, August 19, 2009 Sad But True: We Listened To Metallica For An Hour And Now You Have To Pay For It  Ok, so for re-appraisal number 3, Jayson and I sat down two Fridays ago to listen to the "classic" Metallica self-titled "Black Album" from 1991--a record known well to us both and one that at one point we each held dearly to our hearts. I say unequivocally: no longer. Dear god. Terrible. So. Terrible. What follows is a sad and REALLY LENGTHY transcription of our listening experience. I apologize for the length, so standard "read if bored / skip if not" disclaimer should be attached as always. Ok, then! ------------ jaychampionvinyl: ok, let's do this jaychampionvinyl: wow I am looking at the Metallica song titles as they unzip and realizing what I am in for JeffreyBeaumont: ok here we go jaychampionvinyl: okay, wow jaychampionvinyl: enter Sandman jaychampionvinyl: deep end jaychampionvinyl: we can do this jaychampionvinyl: nope jaychampionvinyl: wow jaychampionvinyl: wow jaychampionvinyl: wow JeffreyBeaumont: holy shit JeffreyBeaumont: wow jaychampionvinyl: nothing about this sounds even remotely cool jaychampionvinyl: like, it sounds like a parody of what my little cousin thinks his dad likes jaychampionvinyl: we're both COMPLETELY SPEECHLESS jaychampionvinyl: this album went diamond JeffreyBeaumont: i feel like this is a scene in South Park JeffreyBeaumont: where the kids are incredibly excited about something kids are supposed to be excited about JeffreyBeaumont: and then they experience it and it's just silence JeffreyBeaumont: Kyle goes, quietly, "Dude.... Dude. What the eff?" JeffreyBeaumont: and Cartman bellows, "Huh-ho!" jaychampionvinyl: hahahahahaha jaychampionvinyl: dead on JeffreyBeaumont: 'HUSH LITTLE BABY DON'T SAY A WORD" JeffreyBeaumont: Stan: "Who the fuck are these pedophiles???" jaychampionvinyl: dude, "Gripping your pillow tight" "It's just the beast under your bed, in your closet in your head" jaychampionvinyl: NO jaychampionvinyl: HOMO JeffreyBeaumont: i'm reviewing the track lengths of these songs JeffreyBeaumont: and realizing there's gonna be plenty of time for introspection here jaychampionvinyl: so far this is indescribably awful JeffreyBeaumont: this is lame in a way i'm convinced that guns n roses never were jaychampionvinyl: dude, you are totally 100 percent correct jaychampionvinyl: not even Motley Fucking Crue, in some cases, were this lame JeffreyBeaumont: it's still astonishing to me that as of this moment, this is the ONLY metallica record i've listened to more than twice jaychampionvinyl: hahaa yeah jaychampionvinyl: this will probably ruin everything else of theirs, including the stuff that I still think is any good JeffreyBeaumont: "Sad But True" jaychampionvinyl: Kid Rock jaychampionvinyl: is all I got as of this moment JeffreyBeaumont: listening to this is so strange JeffreyBeaumont: i got this record and nevermind within a week of each other in fall of 1991 and at some point a year or so later, 92 or 93, i remember thinking to myself, "Wow, they fucking load both of these records with hits in the beginning and the back ends are BORING" JeffreyBeaumont: metallica did videos for Sandman, Sad But True, Unforgiven, and Whereever I May Roam JeffreyBeaumont: 4 out of the first 5 tracks on this record, and same for Nevermind JeffreyBeaumont: But it's just hilarious thinking about this now, because those Nevermind singles are still great (though they're a little worn for me) and now i love the backend JeffreyBeaumont:however, so far these metallica "singles" sound fucking awful JeffreyBeaumont: and i am trembling with fear at the potential terribleness of the backend jaychampionvinyl: yeah...the secret here is: the back end is worse jaychampionvinyl: if it weren't for the weird guitar talkbox sounds, I'd be a little more ok with Holier Than Thou because it picsk up the pace a littel bit jaychampionvinyl: but then the lyrics start jaychampionvinyl: God JeffreyBeaumont: yeah it definitely sounded better in the beginning than the first two JeffreyBeaumont: but the vocals come in and then so does boring guitar JeffreyBeaumont: i wasn't expecting to fall in love with this record again but i'm shocked at a) how much i'm not enjoying it and b) how amazingly TAME it sounds JeffreyBeaumont: there is almost nothing "hard" about this shit to me jaychampionvinyl: YES AND YES jaychampionvinyl: it sounds so corny and harmless jaychampionvinyl: oh boy, The Unforgiven JeffreyBeaumont: ok jaychampionvinyl: I'm already happier JeffreyBeaumont: dude i'm diggin this so far JeffreyBeaumont: this intro is fucking great jaychampionvinyl: this at least sounds like a Queensryche song JeffreyBeaumont: Scorpions jaychampionvinyl: this song is, I think, probably still great jaychampionvinyl: we'll see JeffreyBeaumont: oh god, the verse jaychampionvinyl: BHGAQHAH jaychampionvinyl: Oh my god jaychampionvinyl: IT'S SO DECISIVE jaychampionvinyl: ok aaaaaaaand.....AWFUL! JeffreyBeaumont: still.....better than the rest jaychampionvinyl: the melody is good? JeffreyBeaumont: oh man jaychampionvinyl: wayyyy better jaychampionvinyl: I didn't realize what a cop of this song "Disarm" is JeffreyBeaumont: in 1991 they should have just been writing ballads, basically jaychampionvinyl: yeah, I actually still get chills with "so I dub thee unforgiven" jaychampionvinyl: that immediately curdle when the verse comes in jaychampionvinyl: Man, after you've cleaned this out of your ears jaychampionvinyl: I want you to listen to Master of Puppets and tell me what you hear JeffreyBeaumont: i got my first cd player for my ninth birthday, in summer 1991 JeffreyBeaumont: a boombox from my parents JeffreyBeaumont: for christmas my uncle tony came to town and i had him buy me this record and appetite for destruction jaychampionvinyl: haha JeffreyBeaumont: and we came back from the store and my parents were like !!!!!!!!!!!!!! jaychampionvinyl: hahahahaha JeffreyBeaumont: i'd had a tape of appetite i'd gotten from grandparents' next door neighbor's son freddie peguori JeffreyBeaumont: (now in jail for grand larceny) JeffreyBeaumont: but it got eaten in the car and i begged my parents to buy it for me and they wouldnt jaychampionvinyl: SITAR RIFF. this sucks JeffreyBeaumont: yes jaychampionvinyl: sucks very very hard JeffreyBeaumont: god this is fucking weak sauce JeffreyBeaumont: no wonder your brother hated this record jaychampionvinyl: oh man, with the force of a thousand suns jaychampionvinyl: I'm trying to think of somethign you hate as rabidly as my brother hated this album JeffreyBeaumont: natalie portman JeffreyBeaumont: the true beacon of hate jaychampionvinyl: go further jaychampionvinyl: think of the thing that makes you feel so sick and angry about humanity that you really don't think you can live anymore jaychampionvinyl: that's how my brother John felt about this album JeffreyBeaumont: wow JeffreyBeaumont: that is admittedly worse than natalie portman jaychampionvinyl: btw, did you know that my friend Ben Fl**** went on a double prom date with Natalie Portman? his friend took her. jaychampionvinyl: he said she was a stuck up, prim and obnoxious JeffreyBeaumont: dude, she is the worst person living not in metallica jaychampionvinyl: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaa jaychampionvinyl: that is the single greatest insult I've ever heard jaychampionvinyl: god every guitar solo sounds exactly the same! jaychampionvinyl: squeedly -SQUEEEEE, squeedly- WAHHHH WAHH WAHHHHH JeffreyBeaumont: i feel like writing her a letter: "Dear Natalie: Congratulations, I now realize that Lars Ulrich is the one person in the world worse than you." jaychampionvinyl: AHAHAHA JeffreyBeaumont: However...here's something i can't explain: I have an unnatural teddybear love for james hetfield JeffreyBeaumont: please explain to me why this is possible? JeffreyBeaumont: in my head i am not believing that ANY of the badness of this record is his fault JeffreyBeaumont: and i'm entirely blaming lars and kirk hammet JeffreyBeaumont: 100% JeffreyBeaumont: Is it because he looks kind of like Tom Waits?****** jaychampionvinyl: okay, that is six thousand steps too far jaychampionvinyl: he's like a scowling little cartoon bear jaychampionvinyl: And the truth is, James Hetfield is more or less responsible entirely for their shift JeffreyBeaumont: http://www.celebrityzine.net/files/images/james-hetfield.jpg jaychampionvinyl: and his vocals are so herniated and awful jaychampionvinyl: as to ruin everything even further JeffreyBeaumont: http://infinitestatemachine.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/james-hetfield.jpg JeffreyBeaumont: OH GOD JeffreyBeaumont: BEST YET JeffreyBeaumont: http://www.celebrityrockstarguitars.com/rock/images/isthatabanjo.jpg jaychampionvinyl: HAAAAAAAAAAAA JeffreyBeaumont: A FUCKING BANJO  jaychampionvinyl: wait jaychampionvinyl: wait jaychampionvinyl: wait jaychampionvinyl: wait JeffreyBeaumont: the intro jaychampionvinyl: play the intro jaychampionvinyl: YES jaychampionvinyl: AMERICA JeffreyBeaumont: Dont tread on me JeffreyBeaumont: HOIATJ'IORGANM',L;DF,L,;LSCA jaychampionvinyl: WEST SIDE STORY RIFF JeffreyBeaumont: ASDNSDANI;ASD;VNA JeffreyBeaumont: LSasASD'VNASDVFA JeffreyBeaumont: WEST SIDE STORY jaychampionvinyl: I have to play that again jaychampionvinyl: are you with me? JeffreyBeaumont: NO HOMO JeffreyBeaumont: YES jaychampionvinyl: we have to go back JeffreyBeaumont: LIKE TO THE LOST ISLAND JeffreyBeaumont: WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK jaychampionvinyl: how did no one comment on thjis!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!\GAY;WEAS LASDFL;KHADFS;KHLADHL jaychampionvinyl: GAYEST THING SERIOUSLY POSSIBLE jaychampionvinyl: oh my I'm seriously crying jaychampionvinyl: there are tears of laughter streaming down my face right now jaychampionvinyl: How do you solve a problem like.....SATAN?????????? JeffreyBeaumont: at this point in South Park JeffreyBeaumont: saddam hussein would come on the screen jaychampionvinyl: hahahahah JeffreyBeaumont: and metallica would pull their masks off JeffreyBeaumont: and they're all iraqis JeffreyBeaumont: except lars ulrich JeffreyBeaumont: who is osama bin laden jaychampionvinyl: oh my goddddddddd JeffreyBeaumont: and then you just hear one slow swearword bleep coming out of Stan's mouth JeffreyBeaumont: and kenny gets killed by a scimitar jaychampionvinyl: and James Heftfield comes out and plays the south park theme song on banjo JeffreyBeaumont: NOW i understand why parents didn't want their kids listening to this shit JeffreyBeaumont: they didn't want them to grow up tasteless and braindead jaychampionvinyl: I can't even imagine the fact that we might not have made it this far into the album to discover this moment jaychampionvinyl: who did it? JeffreyBeaumont: i have to believe it was lars's idea jaychampionvinyl: do you think that Kirk Hammett did it to amuse himself? and that no one else knew? jaychampionvinyl: "what's literally the gayest thing I could do to this shitty song?" JeffreyBeaumont: "in the future, who would ever illegally download our record if we throw in some West Side Story?" jaychampionvinyl: haaaaaaa JeffreyBeaumont: i will say--it doesn't at all help them that recording processes in 1990 were at close to the peak of their awfulness jaychampionvinyl: yes yes yes jaychampionvinyl: this was produced by Bob Rock jaychampionvinyl: nuff said JeffreyBeaumont: like the maximum point of studio production making ALL music sounding dead and lifeless jaychampionvinyl: every guitar needed to sound like it had sausage casings around it JeffreyBeaumont: god forbid anything get in the way of a slick electric guitar JeffreyBeaumont: so far the best things on this entire fucking record are the intros to Unforgiven, Wherever I May Roam and Nothing Else Matters jaychampionvinyl: they should have just become Kansas with this album JeffreyBeaumont: Nothing Else Matters sounds good JeffreyBeaumont: i'm telling you, they should have just madea record of ballads jaychampionvinyl: also: this was widely considered "the worst" song on this record, because it was a sissy ballad jaychampionvinyl: like, when people pointed to how bad Metallica had become, they pointed to THIS SONG jaychampionvinyl: and it's the ONLY PASSABLE SONG HERE JeffreyBeaumont: the bridge is straight late 70s Floyd jaychampionvinyl: yes!!!! perfect call jaychampionvinyl: it's really pretty! JeffreyBeaumont: sounds like something off the Wall JeffreyBeaumont: it still sounds very 1990 but in a way i'm completly fine with jaychampionvinyl: exactly JeffreyBeaumont: AllMusic: The best songs are more melodic and immediate, the crushing, stripped-down grooves of "Enter Sandman," "Sad but True," and "Wherever I May Roam"" JeffreyBeaumont: LIES JeffreyBeaumont: LIES JeffreyBeaumont: "crushing, stripped-down grooves"?!?! jaychampionvinyl: I want it to end there jaychampionvinyl: but go on it must JeffreyBeaumont: oh god jaychampionvinyl: "Of Wolf and Man" JeffreyBeaumont: "OF WOLF AND MAN" JeffreyBeaumont: this record could easily be subtitled "To Kill Your Fuck" JeffreyBeaumont: i want to watch a video right now of a couple enjoying having sex to this song jaychampionvinyl: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA jaychampionvinyl: yes jaychampionvinyl: me too! jaychampionvinyl: oh god jaychampionvinyl: I can already see it jaychampionvinyl: the guy, in particuarl, is very clear to me jaychampionvinyl: he's on top, pumping away jaychampionvinyl: every once in awhile he throw his head back to commune with the night sky jaychampionvinyl: "COME TO ME, MOTHER EARTH, FOR I AM FUCK" JeffreyBeaumont: she's either just laying there motionlessly or else REALLY excited about him and the guitars and the excitement he's getting from it all JeffreyBeaumont: "FUCK ME BIG BOY" jaychampionvinyl: I am seeing more the heavy lidded gaze off to the right JeffreyBeaumont: bass intro to God That Failed: Nirvana JeffreyBeaumont: according to wikipedia, this song deals "with Hetfield's mother's death from cancer and her Christian Science beliefs which kept her from seeking medical treatment." JeffreyBeaumont: also, Metallica is the first band ever to achieve five consecutive number one debuts. JeffreyBeaumont: also Bob Rock's real name is Bob Rock JeffreyBeaumont: how the fuck did ReLoad debut at #1 JeffreyBeaumont: i forgot it has a track called "Unforgiven II" JeffreyBeaumont: in my head i feel like if i listened to Load now it wouldn't seem that bad JeffreyBeaumont: that's probably wrong, right? jaychampionvinyl: oh god oh god jaychampionvinyl: you have no idea how bad that would sound JeffreyBeaumont: hahaaa jaychampionvinyl: we should do that next week JeffreyBeaumont: my friend misery jaychampionvinyl: yes JeffreyBeaumont: i think worse than anything are the guitars on this record JeffreyBeaumont: they are just fucking terrible jaychampionvinyl: haha yes JeffreyBeaumont: this is fucking awful JeffreyBeaumont: i am flabberghasted jaychampionvinyl: and endless!! jaychampionvinyl: and so monotonous! JeffreyBeaumont: nice bridge JeffreyBeaumont: not terrible JeffreyBeaumont: some actually interesting guitar JeffreyBeaumont: ungh JeffreyBeaumont: then stops JeffreyBeaumont: this arguably a worse and more joyless album than the Fiery Furnaces record Blueberry Boat jaychampionvinyl: we are in army recruiting video territory JeffreyBeaumont: christgau's review for this record:  jaychampionvinyl: haaa! jaychampionvinyl: one of the few times I am grateful for his glib little pseudo-reviews JeffreyBeaumont: ok. wow. JeffreyBeaumont: unceremoniously concluded JeffreyBeaumont: fucking terrible JeffreyBeaumont: bad bad bad JeffreyBeaumont: thanks for killing my fuck, guys. jaychampionvinyl: I feel brutalized jaychampionvinyl: and yes, I didn't even notice it had ended!!!! JeffreyBeaumont: i am now going to listen to a cover of Evan Dando doing "Fade to Black" jaychampionvinyl: WE'RE DONE LISTEN (IF YOU WANT SOME CONTEXT FOR THIS AWFULNESS): Metallica - "Unforgiven" from Metallica ("Black Album") Metallica - "Nothing Else Matters" from Metallica ("Black Album") Metallica - "Don't Tread On Me" from Metallica ("Black Album") Evan Dando - "Fade to Black" (Metallica cover) NOTES: [FYI, IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR YOU NEED A JOB BUT I WILL BUY YOU A BEER, WHOEVER YOU ARE] *** -- Oddly enough, Hetfield lists Tom Waits (and Leonard Cohen) as his favorite lyricists of all time... Labels: Dog And Pony Show, IMs, Jayson Greene In Spirit, mp3, music, re-appraisals posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 8/19/2009 03:39:00 AM 1 comments 1
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