Slang Editorial :: Never Underestimate The Value Of A Holla'

Friday, October 02, 2009
The Heart of Dirkness

Kirk walks the land, passing out tracts:

In tracts he hands out to all who will take them as he treks across the benighted land, Kirk cites certain passages of his own particular inspiration, but stresses that each man or woman's path to comprehension of the light, each individual circumstance of seeing will be unique and unknowable save that it must come from the sincerest desire to know, to apprehend the light.

--from The Consummation of Dirk Nowitzki, by Jonathan Callahan

So I (and possibly you) thought that I loved Dirk Nowitzki. Holy Jesus.

Clearly my love for The Dunking Deutscher is nothing compared to the relationship author Jonathan Callahan has with the man, as outlined in the longform writing piece linked above. Saying this as a man who goes out of his way to discover strange errata, this "piece" is quite possibly the most insane thing I have ever (attempted to) read.

Please read the piece for yourself--it is beyond surreal (literally). And then check out this interview with Callahan, which doesn't do anything to clear up the idea that Callahan might be, as described by Deadspin, "batshit insane".

Sometimes life is just nothing but crazy.

Labels: curiosities, deprarious, Dirk, lolgore

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 10/02/2009 10:38:00 PM 0 comments

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Thursday, May 14, 2009
Goodbye, Dallas

I love these two.

Dear Dallas,

Congratulations on making it this far. I know it would have helped if Game 3 had worked out in your favor, but you fought valiantly andultimately Denver was just too good. Two months ago, I wasn't sure you were gonna make it to mid-May.

So thank you Dirk Nowitzki and the 2008-09 Mavericks, for so many things:

Thanks Mavs, for real, for coming back at the end of the season and showing heart and passion. I have been weeping for you periodically since you blew Game 3 of the 2006 NBA Finals and the last three (?!??) years--losing the Finals in '06, losing in the first round in '07 after having the best record and Dirk's MVP, playing lost and without heart in '08 and losing easily in the first round-- have taken a toll on my soul as a fan of your team.
Thank you, Dirk, for playing your robotic German heart out against Denver and playing the best string of games I've seen you play since you lead the Mavs over Phoenix in the 2006 Western Conference Finals (man, game 5, you were so great). It must have been tough with all the crazy shit going on in your life and your team being only sporadically great, but you are and will always be my favorite NBA player ever.
Thanks, Josh Howard, for coming back and reminding us that you're a great player when you aren't injured or saying silly shit. Rest up this summer and come back hungry, please.
Thanks, Jason Kidd, for doing the best you could on very old legs. I'm not sure how much you get left in the tank, but if we resign you, please don't fuck us with a terribly overpriced extension--or better yet, why not help us nab someone else with a nice sign-and-trade for Lamar Odom?
Thanks Brandon Bass and JJ Barea for attempting to resemble a formerly overpowering Dallas bench.
Thanks, Dirk, for battling with Birdman and giving me the flutters for a match-up of a lifetime. With Chauncey Big Shot out there too, I couldn't help but dream for Odom, giving us four of the five starting Beaumont MVPs. Next year, please, Dallas.

So that's it on NBA 2009 for me. I will still watch the rest of the playoffs, of course, but I know with Dallas out my heart will only be half in.

LeBron, the stage is yours.

Labels: basketball, BIRDMAN, Dirk

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 5/14/2009 01:06:00 PM 0 comments

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