Slang Editorial :: Never Underestimate The Value Of A Holla'

Thursday, June 04, 2009
It's Always Sunny When You're Not Home

One item of my luggage

Waiting to retrieve checked baggage after getting off my flight this morning gave me all the reminder I needed as to how supremely wonderful it was flying to Berlin in April and only bringing carry-on bags.

It seemed to take forever for my bags to come this morning, and the passing minutes brought me a small amount of worry as I recalled my exchange with the Delta attendant yesterday in New York who attempted some rare in-airport humor by asking me if I was looking forward to my trip to Tel Aviv (??!). It was a strange joke given that a) airport dudes rarely joke about anything and b) why Tel Aviv? Because I look Jewish and it's weird I'm going to Germany? Because I look German and obviously I wouldn't go to Tel Aviv? It was strange, and the man's laughter and odd look was stranger when I asked him if that had been a joke.

The end result as I stood around waiting for my belongings to come up on the conveyor belt was the sudden thought that maybe in fact it hadn't been a joke afterall, and that my stuff really had been sent along to Tel Aviv to be enjoyed by the members of some shtetl outside the city. Waaaa. But no, sure enough, they appeared and I made ready to leave.

Of course, however, when one of your five travel items is not a bag but the creepy looking cardboard box above, you should probably expect not to make it through customs without incident. And, sure enough, I was stopped while passing through and asked (auf Deutsch) to pull to the side and open up the box. The man who was inspecting me immediately began babbling in German and I stated firmly, "Ich kann nicht Deutsch" (I can't speak German). He then replied in German that it didn't matter and kept speaking in German to me as we began pulling the tape off of my box together. I do understand a little German--which is either nice or disappointing considering that I studied it for five years--and it seemed he needed confirmation I wasn't carrying a bomb or some other kind of explosives inside the box.

When the box was finally opened, I have to say I registered a bit of disappointment in his face mixed with the obvious relief and "Whatever"ness.

Not all that exciting if you're expecting a bomb.

As I began packaging the box back up, he tapped me on the shoulder and looked at me conspiratorially before speaking softly,

"Ja, ok, alles klaar. Haben Sie eine Zigarette?"

Seriously?? I laughed and walked away.

Labels: fucktactics, junkjunk, lolgore, travel

posted by Nihilist Loves Hate, Hates Everything at 6/04/2009 05:45:00 AM 1 comments

1 Comments:

E-BAD said...: OR- "I don't know German," non?; 6/05/2009 01:38:00 AM